IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the rise of the gig economy, more people are working as freelancers rather than permanent employees. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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With the rise of
gig
Correct article usage
the gig
show examples
 economy, more and more
peoples
Check wording
people
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 are choosing to work as freelancers
instead
Linking Words
 of taking a permanent job.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend has been growing rapidly in recent years, I believe that the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 development
is
Verb problem
apply
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outweigh the advantages, as the social and economic problems it brings are far more serious than the personal benefits. On the one hand, freelancing offers workers
a
Correct article usage
apply
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greater flexibility over their schedules. Because they are not restricted by fixed working hours,
peoples
Check wording
people
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 can balance their work and personal life in a
more
Rephrase
apply
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better way.
For example
Linking Words
, parents who have young
childrens
Replace the word
children
 can arrange their work after their kids come back from school, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to improve their family life quality.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of personal benefit on
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
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 level cannot hide the
more
Rephrase
apply
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deeper social problems that the gig economy has brought to us.
On the other hand
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, despite its appeal, the gig economy
pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
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 serious risks to both individuals and society as a whole. First of all, freelancers do not have a stable income
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they
also
Linking Words
 lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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basic protections
such
Linking Words
 as sick leave, pension and unemployment insurance, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it very difficult for them to plan their future in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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 term.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as more
peoples
Check wording
people
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 choose to become freelancers, the government's ability to collect stable tax revenues is
also
Linking Words
been
Wrong verb form
apply
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weakened, because
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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 employment relationship is the foundation of
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
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 and social security system.
This
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mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 that public services
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare and education may
also
Linking Words
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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as a result
Linking Words
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 freelancing can
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
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 certain personal satisfactions
such
Linking Words
 as flexibility and freedom, I strongly believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The instability of individual income and the damage to
national
Correct article usage
the national
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 tax system are problems that
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 far beyond the benefits of flexible

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task response
Give one clear answer at the start and keep this line all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your main idea.
task response
Explain a little more how tax loss hurts public services.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'so', 'because', and 'however' in a careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence follows the last one in a smooth way.
task response
You answer both sides and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most main points stay on the same topic.
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