Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways tohelp them. Do you agree or disagree?

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hese
Correct your spelling
These
days, the number of crimes is increasing and becoming more challenging to deal with. That's why some individuals think that teaching them is better than sending them to
prison
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.
This
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essay partly agrees with
this
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statement. I believe that there are better ways to punish them.
To begin
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with, crimes can be divided into two groups, which are cruel and not so violent. Guilty people who committed non-violent crimes deserve a second chance, and for those prisoners,
this
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kind of punishment is more suitable. We can arrange meetings with psychologists to help them start over. Or we can teach them different skills so that they can easily find work after leaving
prison
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.
On the other hand
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, for the people who committed cruel things like killing people, homicide, or sexual assault, punishments must be very strict since it is useless to teach how to live correctly and what not to do.
Instead
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, they should be put in
prison
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forever so they have time to think about their actions, or they should be forced to do dirty work for the rest of their lives. In conclusion, I firmly believe that it depends on the type of crime.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that there are some jaileds which will never make that mistake again, and there is a type of prisoner for whom
prison
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can no longer help

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you partly agree, but later you say prison is better for some people. State this in a more direct way.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples. For example, give a real kind of job training or a clear case of a non-violent crime.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but they need more detail to fully answer the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Your essay is easy to follow, but some parts can flow better from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Keep word choice and terms consistent. You use 'crimes,' 'cruel things,' 'guilty people,' and 'prisoners' in ways that can be more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not fully clear, so the reader has to guess your meaning. Shorter and cleaner sentences will help.
task response
You answer the question and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
task response
You separate violent and non-violent crime, which is a useful way to build your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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