IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With advancements in artificial intelligence, robots are increasingly capable of performing tasks previously done by humans. Some believe this will lead to mass unemployment and social unrest, while others argue it will create new opportunities and improve our quality of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
First of all, there is no doubt of importance of Artificial
intelligence
Fix capitalization
Intelligence
show examples
, ecpesially the
last
Linking Words
 few years. We will discuss two views,
first
Punctuation problem
first,
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the modren
Correct your spelling
modern
technology
Use synonyms
 will lead to
unemployment
Correct article usage
an unemployment
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 state,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
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hand,
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 there are many
aurguement
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
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 that may create new opportunities and
improbe
Correct your spelling
improve
 the quality of the world.
Body · 1
Using the kind of smart
technology
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 different benefit in our daily basis. not only
that
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that,
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 sometimes these
Use synonyms
technology
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technologies
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 reduce the
error's
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errors
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 made by
human
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humans
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 to 50% accuracy or higher.
In addition
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to
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apply
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, it will be easy to use in simple tasks like
observe
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observing
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 the
sursording
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surroundings
 or serving foods
also
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 the delivery,
for example
Linking Words
the
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,
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 robots are commonly
using
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used
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 in China in hotels or airports.
Body · 2
In the future, using
technology
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 in everything
causing
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will cause
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 the risk of losing our job for the robots,
that
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which
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 will lead to multiple
issue
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issues
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 for
the human
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humans
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.
Moreover
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, increasing the possibility of remarkable
impect
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impact
 on social,
ecnomical
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economic
 situation.
Body · 3
For many people in our
scoity
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society
 are
threatend
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threatened
 by
apply
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applying
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 and
involve
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involving
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 these smart and
modren
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modern
 robots to wide variety of jobs to be
alternative
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an alternative
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 for the human, in other
word
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words
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,
globel
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global
 unemployment will occur as consevounce of it. From my perspective, for now very good features to use,
also
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 with
wide
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a wide
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 range of selections easy to reach and access to
it
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them
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, but in the
future
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future,
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 I think
will
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it will
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 cause a lot of issues.
Body · 4
In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 I completely agree with
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 view, and I disagree with the second view about the new changes.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, using intelligence and smart
technology
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have
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has
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 a lot of useful criteria, but after a
while
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excessive
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, excessive
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using
Replace the word
use of
 it
,
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apply
show examples
 possible to effect indvisuals in their places.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Now you talk more about job loss than new chances.
task response
Give a clear opinion from the start and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples for each main idea.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph about one main point only.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, however, for example, and as a result.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a short conclusion.
task response
You use one example about robots in China.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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