IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

r ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam' How true do you think this statement is? what measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 individuals
have used
Wrong verb form
use
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 and buy
cars
Use synonyms
.
That
Verb problem
That's
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 what increases the traffic jam in the big cities. Actually riches
people
Use synonyms
 who
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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this
Linking Words
 the most, because they have several
cars
Use synonyms
 and other vehicles. And
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should instruct them by publish lost of
adds
Use the right word
ads
show examples
 and try to force them to use the metro. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic in detail
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I will give some solutions. First and foremost, traffic jam is a big issue. Police couldn't solve it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the municipality in some countries. The reason for
that is
Linking Words
because
Correct word choice
that
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people
Use synonyms
 have different
shape
Fix the agreement mistake
shapes
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 of vehicles
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 some of them purchase
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
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 car to avoid getting in the plane. I totally agree with
impose
Wrong verb form
imposing
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 taxes to reduce the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of accidents that
eccure
Correct your spelling
occur
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it's not the only reason. The construction of road play important role. We see incomplete work and some warning in the road to not get in some
neighbourhood
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbourhoods
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. all these factors.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if every government take action and
dedicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
dedicates
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 time to figure out the
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
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 it will be solved. But the lack of knowledge and insufficient equipment prohibit
this
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 from happening. Discourage
people
Use synonyms
 from buying and selling
cars
Use synonyms
 and other electric
vehicles
Punctuation problem
vehicles,
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 maybe
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
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 solve it
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, I will
frastrute
Correct your spelling
frustrate
 the nation, because living without
technology
Replace the word
technological
 methods is difficult. In conclusion, traffic jam is continuous bad habit.
People
Use synonyms
 started with
cycle
Replace the word
cycling
 and riding camels,
then
Linking Words
 using
cars
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we couldn't live without
.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, we should avoid going to the same place. It
maybe will
Verb problem
may
show examples
 help
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 outside at the same time.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You say traffic is a big problem, but you do not clearly explain how true the statement is.
task response
Give 2 or 3 clear government actions, like higher parking fees, better buses, or car-free areas.
task response
Use more clear and real examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, because, for example, and in conclusion in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Make your sentences connect better. Some ideas now stop too fast or change too suddenly.
task response
You answer the topic and try to talk about causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like first, secondly, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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