IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts show the methods used by international students when booking online English courses in three different countries in 2009 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The pie charts illustrate the
methods
Use synonyms
 used by international pupils when reserving online English
courses
Use synonyms
 in three different countries in 2009 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there were insignificant changes in some
methods
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 Australia had the
Use synonyms
face to
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
face
Use synonyms
 bookings more over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
these two years,
while
Linking Words
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Canada
Add a comma
Canada,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 booked their
courses
Use synonyms
 by the
internet
Use synonyms
 more than any other method. In 2009, in
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
 26% of the
people
Use synonyms
 arrived
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the place to make the booking. 27% of the
people
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, booked their
courses
Use synonyms
 beforehand with the help of the agent.
Slightly
Correct article usage
A slightly
show examples
 lesser
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
number of people
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 enrolled
it
Change preposition
on it
show examples
 through the
internet
Use synonyms
(24%).
While
Linking Words
 23% of the
students
Use synonyms
 reserved their
courses
Use synonyms
 by other
methods
Use synonyms
. After one year, in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who used
Use synonyms
face to
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
face
Use synonyms
 booking increased by 4% up to 30%.
However
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who made it in advance
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 decreased drastically, from 27% to a staggering 11%.
Internet
Use synonyms
 users,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, rose dramatically to 39%.
Students
Use synonyms
 who
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
 other
methods
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 fell
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to 20%. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, booking by arrival
constituted
Verb problem
accounted
show examples
 for 24%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in 2009.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
, it remained similar without any changes
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 after a year.
Internet
Use synonyms
 booking,
also
Linking Words
 represented
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 number, which is 26%, and it
downgraded
Verb problem
decreased
show examples
 marginally, by the end of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2010, down to 25%. Booking in advance with the agent, depicted 24%, consecutively increasing up to 28%, in 2010. Other
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 users, illustrated 26% of the
students
Use synonyms
, and it decreased
further
Linking Words
 to 23% in 2010. In Canada, booking in a place was dominant, in 2009, illustrating 45%.
However
Linking Words
, it dropped considerably, to 26% in 2010. Pre-booking with the agent
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 demonstrated about 22%. But it went up to 35%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in 2010.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
reserving
Replace the word
reservations
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 showed no substantial changes over the one full year, declining steadily from 27% to 25%,
methods
Use synonyms
 other than these three
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 rocketed from only 6% to 18%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words methods, courses, face, people, internet, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: