the line graph shows various types of technology used in US from 1995-1999. write main features and give comparison where necessary

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This
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graph shows various types of electronic components used in the United States. The unit is measured in percentage.
Overall
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,people in the United State Of Amarica have a diversity of applied science systems and machinery appliances.
Moreover
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, there are many more devices, like washing machines , computers, phones,
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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and Dvd player.
It is clear that
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the usage of washing machines has the highest rank from the shown graph.
While
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others have increased gradually over the years .
Furthermore
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,
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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, Phones and Dvd player were the lowest applications in 1995. In contast it has rapidly grown from 10%up to over 30% in 1998.
In addition
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, computers haveundergone astable change throughout the years .

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • grow fast
  • steady
  • rapid
  • sharp
  • gradual
  • high
  • low
  • gap
  • compare
  • between
  • from
  • to
  • year
  • year by year
  • line
  • graph
  • data
  • technology
  • computer
  • phone
  • internet
  • video game
  • television
  • use
  • usage
  • highest
  • lowest
  • period
  • 1995
  • 1999
  • trend
  • overall
  • pattern
  • different
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