IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have heard that one of your friends will be doing voluntary work at a festival. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter ask about what type of festival your friend is volunteering at and when and where it will take place ask what your friend will have to do as part of the voluntary work ask if the organisers are still looking for more volunteers and how you can apply for the work

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Dear Pat, I want to know about your volunteering work that you will be doing in Calgary. Jay, our common friend, had told me about your new voluntary work. Jay and I haven't
talk
Wrong verb form
talked
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 much about that
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 I am writing to you to know more about it. Can you tell me what kind of festival it is in which you will
take
Verb problem
apply
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participate.
Does
Verb problem
Is
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 it going to happen in your locality?
and
Fix capitalization
And
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 when will it actually start? I know that volunteering work often include collection of tickets, managing people who come to
festival
Correct article usage
the festival
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, providing support to
team
Correct article usage
the team
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 manager and many more stuffs. What kind of activities will be given to you
in
Change preposition
at
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this
Linking Words
 festival? If I
will be
Wrong verb form
am
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 free
duing
Correct your spelling
during
 the time when
festival
Correct article usage
the festival
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will
Wrong verb form
is
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 happening, I will surely take part
into
Change preposition
in
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 it. Can you ask your organisers if they have any vacant spaces or not?
and
Fix capitalization
And
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 what would be the application process? I am waiting for your reply. Warm Regards, Jay

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task response
Task response: You answer all three parts, but some questions are not clear. Make each question short and direct.
task response
Task response: The tone is friendly, but some lines sound a bit formal or not natural for a letter to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some linking is weak. Use easy words like 'also', 'so', 'because', and 'if' to join ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each part. This will make the letter easier to follow.
task response
You ask about the festival, the work, and how to apply. So you cover the task well.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is split into clear parts, and it has a greeting and an ending.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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