IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large and large organisations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are multiple issues in our environment. Some industries and local people have the
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 to mitigate it
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
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, they didn't pay much attention to it. I think every institution is
responsibl
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for the negative effect, because they always use carbon mission; without having a rational plan to reduce it. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 topic in detail, and I will give my own opinion. First and foremost, I believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should force individuals to act properly. It has the right and power to it.
However
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, they in general don't do it, maybe because they want more industrial growth, and don't think the natural resources
important
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are important
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some big companies
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to contribute to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 the dioxide and any harmful
component
Fix the agreement mistake
components
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 to the atmosphere.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
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 contribute to make the environment
save
Correct word choice
safe
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. They can stop cutting the trees, and
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 less productive about planting
a
Correct article usage
apply
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trees. I totally agree that people should cooperate with the government. Because they have several actions that could deteriorate our lives. From my perspective, I think everybody should pay the costs, because
the
Correct article usage
a
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 small bad action could harm the whole nation
,
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;
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 some scientists show that climate change started from ignoring the commands from the government. And using carbon
regulary
Rephrase
regularly
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. In conclusion, sharing responsibility is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most likely to reinforce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sustainable life, and preserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
form
Use the right word
from
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 air pollution
,
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apply
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 and other negative aspects. Cooperation is the key; what will make
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
 perfect and on the right
way
Check wording
track
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.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to the question. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree from the start and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas, such as how the government can make laws or how people can cut waste.
task response
Explain each main point more. Some ideas are too short, so the reader cannot fully see why you think this way.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas and make each paragraph stay on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences easier to follow. Some parts are hard to understand because the wording is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences for body paragraphs, then add support after them.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both government and ordinary people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You show your opinion that all sides should share responsibility.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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