IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Developing countries require international organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, developing
countries
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 often rely on
support
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 from international
organizations
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organisations
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 to address
the
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apply
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economic and social problems.
While
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 some people believe that financial
aid
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 is the most effective form of assistance, others argue that practical
aid
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 and expert advice are more beneficial.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before arguing
a
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that a
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combination of
two
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the two
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 approaches is the most effective solution.
To begin
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 with, financial
aid
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 plays a vital role in helping developing
countries
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 cope with immediate challenges. In times of crisis,
such
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 as natural disasters or economic instability, access to funding enables governments to provide essential services, including food
,
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apply
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 and temporary shelter.
For instance
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, in Thailand, international financial assistance has been crucial during severe flooding, allowing authorities to repair damaged infrastructure and
support
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 affected communities more effectively.
Moreover
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,
such
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 funding can be invested in key sectors like transportation and healthcare, which are necessary for economic growth.
However
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,
this
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 type of
support
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 often serves as only a
short
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short-term
term
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 solution, as it does not address the underlying structural problems of the economy. Over
time
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,
countries
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 may become dependent on external funding, which can weaken their ability to develop sustainable systems independently.
On the other hand
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, practical
aid
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 and advice
guidance
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apply
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focus more on sustainable development by strengthening local capabilities.
Instead
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 of offer short
term
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 relief,
this
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 form of assistance equips individuals with valuable skills and knowledge that can be applied over
time
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.
For example
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, agricultural training initiatives in Thailand have enabled farmers to adapt modern farming techniques, resulting in increased productivity and more stable income.
Additionally
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,
such
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support
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 helps tackle the root cause of poverty,
such
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 as limited education and inefficient systems.
Nevertheless
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, one major drawback is that these improvements take
considerable
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a considerable
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 amount of
time
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 to become evident, meaning they may not be suitable in urgent situations where immediate action is required. In conclusion,
while
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 financial
aid
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 is effective in addressing immediate needs, it often provides only
short
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short-term
term
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 solutions and may lead to dependency.
In contrast
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, practical
aid
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 and advice promote
long
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long-term
term
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 development,
although
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 they require
time
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 to show the results.
Therefore
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, I believe that combining both approaches is the most effective way to
support
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 developing
countries
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, as it ensures both immediate relief and sustainable progress.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your view. To reach a higher score, add a bit more detail on why each side is strong or weak.
task response
For task response, your example about Thailand is clear, but one more direct and specific example would make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow with clear paragraphing. To improve more, make some links between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some phrases need small grammar fixes, such as 'short term' to 'short-term' and 'Instead of offer' to 'Instead of offering'. Clear form helps the flow.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and clearly state your opinion.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and balanced.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, so the reader can follow your argument well.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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