Some people believe that it is better for a nation’s economy if students study science and technology rather than other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Choosing STEM

subjects

Use synonyms

to boost a nation's

economy

Use synonyms

is a controversial issue today.

While

Linking Words

STEM

subjects

Use synonyms

are vital for growth, I believe other

subjects

Use synonyms

are equally essential for the growth of

Use synonyms

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I partially agree

choosing

Correct word choice

that choosing

show examples

STEM

subjects

Use synonyms

can lead the

economy

Use synonyms

of the country. There are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

reasons to support my views.

To begin

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with, Science and Technology lead to automation and efficiency.

For example

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, entrepreneurs like Elon Musk created SpaceX, Tesla,

OpenAI

Correct word choice

and OpenAI

show examples

. These

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of companies can drive innovation that

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

new ideas and methods that can improve our

society

Use synonyms

become more efficient and convenient.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

countries with high-technology often

attracts

Correct subject-verb agreement

attract

show examples

more sponsorship and investment

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

AI or green energy.

This

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shows that technological advancement leads

Change preposition

to more

show examples

benefits and opportunities. With more opportunities, countries

had

Change preposition

with

show examples

advanced technology often creates a large economic benefits.

On the other hand

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, other

subjects

Use synonyms

are

also

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necessary for balancing the

economy

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and

society

Use synonyms

For

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example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

studying law and psychology, management are the 'glue' to make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

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and business

Wrong verb form

apply

show examples

run normally.

Besides

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that, art, media,

sports

Correct word choice

and sports

show examples

can

also

Linking Words

generate billions of dollars.

For instance

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, students studying sports management may host a range of sports events like Formula 1, NBA,

FIFA

Correct word choice

and FIFA

show examples

World Cup. These

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of events can produce a sufficient amount of profit.

This

Linking Words

shows that studying different

subjects

Use synonyms

not only

helping

Wrong verb form

helps

show examples

the

economy

Use synonyms

to grow but

also

Linking Words

kept the

society

Use synonyms

to run smooth and normally. In conclusion, I partially agree that STEM

subjects

Use synonyms

can lead the country to technologically advanced and attract various

Change preposition

apply

show examples

investments that can boost the

economy

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, other

subjects

Use synonyms

like business, social science or media are

also

Linking Words

essential for the community.

Moreover

Linking Words

those kind

Fix the agreement mistake

these kinds

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

can support the

society

Use synonyms

to become

balance

Replace the word

balanced

. It is known that technology and science

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the more efficient ways to make a profit

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

however

Linking Words

, it needs other

subjects

Use synonyms

to create a 'real'

society

Use synonyms

. A thriving

economy

Use synonyms

requires creativity and

workforce

Correct article usage

a workforce

show examples

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

different

subjects

Use synonyms

should be studied in order to make the

economy

Use synonyms

more progressive.

ericsu1224

Apr 30, 2026

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task response

Make your main view more clear from the start. You say 'partially agree', but some lines are not fully clear.

task response

Answer all parts in a direct way. Say why science and technology help, and why other subjects also help, in a more balanced way.

task response

Develop each main idea more. Add one more clear reason or result in each body paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more carefully. Some parts connect well, but some jumps are sudden.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order and grammar, because unclear sentences can make your meaning hard to follow.

task response

You answer the topic and give your opinion.

task response

You use examples like Elon Musk and big sports events to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use basic linking words such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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