Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common for parents to exert
pressure
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on their
children
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to achieve success. There are several reasons why
this
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trend has emerged, and I believe it has both positive and negative aspects. One major reason for
this
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
is the influence of social media. Many
children
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spend excessive time on mobile phones
instead
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of studying hard.
As a result
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, imposing overwhelming
pressure
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by both mothers and fathers becomes more important for their
children
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’s
behavior
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behaviour
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and
succeed
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success
. Another factor is
the
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apply
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living in
comfort
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a comfort
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zone. With many comfortable opportunities,
the
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apply
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most
of
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apply
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youngsters focus less on their future and
also
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their education.
This
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issue encourages
children
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to relax more rather than put a lot efforts into studies.
Additionally
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, some ancestors feel too lazy to study
that
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, and
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children
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have
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apply
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lack
of
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apply
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motivation to do
lesson
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lessons
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and
also
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succeed
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achieve
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goals in the future.
This
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trend can be seen as negative because it reduces the value of interest rates in pursuing education. When
children
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engage in academic work without
rest
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resting
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enough or allocate some time to recharge, they may suffer from depression, stress, and weak
memorization
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memorisation
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problems.
This
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leads to
lack
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a lack
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of interest
which
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, which
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may affect
children
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’s education in a negative way.
Moreover
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, placing more
pressure
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on
children
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brings about more depression and mental
issue
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issues
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.
However
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, there are
also
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some positive aspects. Moderate
pressure
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from parents can
distribute
Verb problem
encourage
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their
children
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to get well-paid jobs, allocating most of their time
in
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to
show examples
useful
activity
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activities
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, and help
children
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build discipline
,
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apply
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consistent
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and consistency
. For some,
pressure
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can be motivating, which can enhance their educational level. In conclusion, the trend of imposing extreme
pressure
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on
children
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mainly to achieve goals is driven by social media influence and comfort
zone
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zones
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.
While
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it has some benefits, I believe it is largely a negative development because it reduces
the
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apply
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curiosity and
cause
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causes
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more depression
for
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in
show examples
children
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.

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task response
Answer both questions more directly. Give one clear reason why parents do this, then say clearly why it is mostly negative or positive.
task response
Use simple and clear main ideas. Some ideas are hard to understand, so make each point easier and more exact.
task response
Add one real and clear example. This will make your ideas stronger and more believable.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, but some sentences do not connect well. Use linking words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result' carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Do not mix too many points in the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence meaning. Some parts are not clear, so the reader may stop and guess your meaning.
task response
You answered both parts of the question.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
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