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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or a negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Nowadays, many people visit famous tourist attractions to take photographs of themselves rather than truly experiencing the place.
This
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trend
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 is mainly caused by the influence of social
media
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. I believe
this
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 is a negative
trend
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 because it reduces the real cultural and historical values of these places.
To begin
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 with, one major cause of
this
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trend
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 is the influence of social
media
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. Individuals prefer to share their pictures and videos on online platforms
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat to gain attention and social approval.
For example
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, many influencers on social networks visiting Paris focus more on taking selfies and shooting vlogs near
Eiffel
Correct article usage
the Eiffel
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 Tower rather than learning about its historical importance.
As a result
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, the public
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 more interested in online appearance than genuine experiences.
Furthermore
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, the other major reason for
this
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 negative
trend
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 is
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
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 of cultural appreciation. Many people nowadays visit historical sites to take photographs and record videos of themselves
while
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 ignoring the history, culture, and tradition of the place.
For instance
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, the Golden Temple, one of the most famous historical
place
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places
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 where people visit to worship and learn about Sikh history and culture.
However
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, many tourists focus more on taking pictures for social
media
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 rather than understanding its true
believes
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beliefs
.
As a result
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, the real purpose and value of
such
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 places are gradually being lost. In conclusion, despite the popularity of social
media
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, I believe
this
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 is a negative
trend
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 because it encourages tourists to focus more on taking photographs of themselves than appreciating the true cultural and historical value of famous places.

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task response
Answer both questions more fully. You explain why this happens well, but your view on why it is bad can be developed more.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why this trend is bad, such as how it makes travel shallow or disrespectful.
task response
Your examples are relevant, but make them more exact and natural. Explain each example a little more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few sentences are not smooth. Check grammar in topic sentences and example sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main paragraph has one clear main idea, then support it with explanation and one strong example.
task response
You clearly answer the question and give your opinion from the start.
task response
Your main ideas stay on topic and are easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words well, such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Visual content
  • Landmarks
  • Likes and followers
  • Selfie
  • Trophy
  • Validation
  • Accomplishment
  • Technological advancements
  • Smartphone cameras
  • Photography-focused tourism
  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
  • Immersing
  • Local economy
  • Cultural significance
  • Backdrops
  • Photographic evidence
  • Overcrowding
  • Wear and tear
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