IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph shows information about
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of five groups of people in
canad
Correct your spelling
Canada
 in how they have spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 charity,
orgnised
Correct your spelling
organised
 by
age
Use synonyms
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 years 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the chart meddle
age
Use synonyms
 group are the highest
expandature
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 in charity.
whereas
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 young have the least amount over the period. There is
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
 trend with
age
Use synonyms
 as they grow
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 spending in the charity
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 what
given
Verb problem
is given
show examples
, the year 2000 has
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 percentage 20% from
age
Use synonyms
 18 to 24.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 2015 shows less percente from the
sam
Correct your spelling
same
 group to decline towarde 11%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
25
Check wording
group 25
show examples
-34 has dropped around 4% between 2000 and 2015. As for
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
-49
age
Use synonyms
it
Check wording
group, it
show examples
 was highest in the list in 2000
by
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 spending approximatily 38%
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 fell to just under 25% in 2015. As an upward trend for
age
Use synonyms
 50-64, it was second in 2000, but
surpass
Wrong verb form
surpassed
show examples
 everyone in 2015 to secure the greatest of all in 2015.
Age
Use synonyms
 65 and over has less
changing
Replace the word
change
 over the year and never exceede 35% IN 2000 AND
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
show examples
 despite the small
different
Replace the word
difference,
 it stays as theird place in hole period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • age range
  • charitable organisations
  • fluctuates
  • notable changes
  • participation
  • considerable decrease
  • contrast
  • consistent increase
  • middle age groups
  • peak
  • notable drop
  • shift
  • financial priorities
  • economic circumstances
  • demographic
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