IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think education should focus only on academic subjects, not practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

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Success comes when
people
Use synonyms
 can achieve balance
Use synonyms
both
Change preposition
between
show examples
 academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 and practical abilities.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that education should concentrate only on
profession
Replace the word
professional
subjects
Use synonyms
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 of them can improve practical abilities and academic
subjects
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 keep mental health.
Firstly
Linking Words
, balanced education is better than a narrow one. When schools teach
both
Use synonyms
 academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 and practical
skills
Use synonyms
, students are more ready for work and life. They can have knowledge in books,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 improve
problem-solve
Replace the word
problem-solving
 ability. These
skills
Use synonyms
 help young
people
Use synonyms
 become more independent and demonstrate not only
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
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 mind but
also
Linking Words
 adapt in range of conditions. Second
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
show examples
 of using balanced education is facilitation of learning, because gain knowledges consistently can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
be exhausted
Replace the word
exhaustion
. If learning centres apply a range
methods
Change preposition
of methods
show examples
 of teaching, they can reduce stress from difficult
subjects
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. Since practical
skills
Use synonyms
 is benefit for mental health.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Hystory
Correct your spelling
History
 of Bukhara is
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 story
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
; as
show examples
 a
result
Punctuation problem
result,
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 students can
tired
Verb problem
get tired
show examples
 and not remember it
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 a teacher goes out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 class and comes in ancient place to explain the
hystory
Correct your spelling
history
, students can
remeber
Correct your spelling
remember
 and use
this
Linking Words
 information in real life,
as well as
Linking Words
 take a break from hard studying. In conclusion, I disagree that educational centres should focus only on academic
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Both
Use synonyms
 academic and practical
skills
Use synonyms
 are necessary because they help
people
Use synonyms
 become successful and develop in different areas of life

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Start each part with one simple point, then add support.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Words like first, second, for example, and in conclusion are good, but some lines still feel hard to follow.
task achievement
Give one clear example and explain it more. Your example about history class is relevant, but the idea needs simpler and more direct support.
task achievement
Answer the question in a more direct way through the whole essay. You say you disagree, but some ideas are not fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence form and word choice, because unclear language can make your ideas less easy to understand.
task achievement
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep the same view in the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task achievement
You try to support your ideas with reasons and an example.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic subjects = school subjects like math, science, history
  • practical skills = skills for daily life and work
  • daily life = normal everyday life
  • independent = able to do things by yourself
  • problem-solving = finding answers to problems
  • hands-on = learning by doing
  • balanced education = education with different kinds of learning
  • real situations = true life events or problems
  • teamwork = working well with others
  • time management = using time in a smart way
  • communication skills = ability to speak and listen well
  • book knowledge = knowledge from study and reading
  • prepare for work = get ready for a job
  • useful in the future = helpful later in life
  • apply knowledge = use what you learn in real life
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