IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
The pie chart illustrates the locations that
students
Use synonyms
 prefer for
dance
Use synonyms
 classes,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 choosing different types of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in the under-11
group
Use synonyms
 preferred ballet, the smallest
number
Use synonyms
 preferred modern
dance
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 age
group
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, there were relatively similar numbers of
students
Use synonyms
 who preferred tap
dance
Use synonyms
, and the largest percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 chose private studios.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, 48% of
students
Use synonyms
 chose private studios as their preferred location, which was the largest percentage;
however
Linking Words
, college-based studios accounted for the lowest proportion, at 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in the under-11
group
Use synonyms
 preferred ballet. More than 600
students
Use synonyms
 chose
this
Linking Words
 style.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the 11–16 age
group
Use synonyms
, around 500
students
Use synonyms
 chose modern
dance
Use synonyms
 as their favourite type.
Although
Linking Words
 there was a significant increase in the ballet, which accounted at 40% in 2011, the percentage of the other two types showed a rapid decrease.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, dance, number, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: