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Writing Samples
Band 5

Learning at university would be more Effective if men and women were educated separately. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Education
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 plays a significant role in everyone's life. Some individuals believe that third-level
education
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 becomes more effective
,
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apply
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 when
male
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males
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 and
female
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females
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 study separately.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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. I believe equality should be upheld in society, and co-
education
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 helps to break down
the
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apply
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gender stereotypes. One of the main
reason
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reasons
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 for my disagreement is that educating both genders is essential for promoting equality and ensuring fair access to opportunities. If
students
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 are segregated,
then
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 their teachers will
also
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 be divided into male -and -female - only groups, which limits their diversity in opinions, and their exposure to learn different teaching
style
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styles
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.
Moreover
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, in some societies, girls may not get the same freedom or rights to attain
the
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an
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education
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, when
university
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 will promote sex-segregation.
Therefore
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, I believe co-
education
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 helps
students
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 to understand and respect others' viewpoints, which is essential for personal and academic growth.
Furthermore
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,
university
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education
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 prepares
students
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 to face real-world challenges. Most of the
students
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 choose different professions
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such
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, such
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 as doctors, teachers, and social workers, where they have to deal with different individuals. So,
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university
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the university
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 should promote co-
education
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, which creates a balanced and inclusive learning environment. When both males and females study together,
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then
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apply
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they can share their
view points
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viewpoints
 with each other. I
also
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 believe co-
education
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 can make learning more effective, encourage them to compete in the classroom, as both genders are motivated to support each other. In conclusion, undoubtedly, sex-segregation at
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university
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the university
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 level will help
students
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 to improve their academic performance, but I believe integrated
education
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 promotes equality in
the
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apply
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society, and
break
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breaks
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 down the preconceived notions about
the
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apply
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gender
role
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roles
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.

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task response
For task response: your answer is clear, but your last line says the other side may help too. This makes your opinion a bit mixed. Keep one clear view from start to end.
task response
For task response: add one or two more clear real examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more full.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a good paragraph plan, but some ideas need smoother links. Use simple link words like also, so, because, and however.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: some sentences are long and not easy to follow. Make them shorter and keep one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: develop each main point a little more before moving to the next one.
task response
For task response: you answer the question and give a clear main view in the introduction.
task response
For task response: your ideas stay on the topic of men and women studying together or apart.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: you use link words like however, moreover, furthermore, and therefore.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • single-gender education
  • coeducational
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • social dynamics
  • learning styles
  • cognitive differences
  • participation rates
  • diverse workplaces
  • educational outcomes
  • psychological implications
  • empirical evidence
  • inclusivity
  • reinforcement of gender roles
  • gender-segregated
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