IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Now a days many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or an organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self employment

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A
job
Use synonyms
recently
Verb problem
has recently
show examples
be
Verb problem
become
show examples
 more difficult
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 current day
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 get
Use synonyms
job
Check wording
jobs
show examples
 with
heavy duty
Correct your spelling
heavy-duty
 and stressfull time who can not be
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to an
employee
Use synonyms
's salary.
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 take issue with
this
Linking Words
 idea where many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to be
self
Use synonyms
 employed other than
work
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 base on many
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. It's essential to know that in
this
Linking Words
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 era
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 a ton of daring
job
Use synonyms
 in the
internet
Punctuation problem
internet,
show examples
 make
people
Use synonyms
 get easy
to
Change preposition
for people to
show examples
 find or get a
job
Use synonyms
 to earn some money by
their
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
self
Use synonyms
. Being
Use synonyms
self employed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
, some
people
Use synonyms
 can
ruler
Wrong verb form
rule
show examples
 their workflow by
their
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
self
Use synonyms
 and be more
effisien
Correct your spelling
efficient
 and simple. Some
self
Use synonyms
 employed possible to earn
money more
Correct word order
more money
show examples
 than their earn if they
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, my
job
Use synonyms
 as
architect
Correct article usage
an architect
show examples
 get take home pay at 500 dollar a month
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with my friend
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 have freelance
project
Use synonyms
 to handle
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
project
Use synonyms
 himself get around 2000 dollar per
project
Use synonyms
 (each month he can handle 2
Use synonyms
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
 at least). In comparison with an
employee
Use synonyms
 in a
company
Use synonyms
, they can handle 2-3
Use synonyms
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
 a month with
not
Rephrase
no
show examples
 significant increase in salary, but some plus essential or
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
employee
Use synonyms
 doesn't
to
Verb problem
have to
show examples
 worry about getting
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 client or
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 a
project
Use synonyms
 because other
people
Use synonyms
 in
team
Correct article usage
the team
show examples
 will handle that. team
work
Use synonyms
 are plays a vital revein to
work
Use synonyms
 in a
company
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that an
employee
Use synonyms
 who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
self
Correct word choice
own
show examples
job
Use synonyms

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more clearly why people choose self-employment and what the bad points are.
task response
Add more clear ideas. Some points are hard to understand because of word choice and grammar.
task response
Give at least two clear bad points of self-employment, such as no fixed pay and no work safety.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear essay plan: intro, reason 1, reason 2, disadvantages, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the conclusion with a full clear sentence that sums up your main view.
task response
You give one real example about architect work and freelance pay. This helps your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraph breaks, so the reader can see the main parts.
task response
You try to compare self-employment and company work, which is good for this task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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