IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph shows the export earnings of a country in
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars for the years 2015 and 2016 for five types of product
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the Table shows the change in values of these
products
Use synonyms
(in percentage) in these 2 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, Petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 have the highest contribution in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years
Linking Words
similarly
Punctuation problem
; similarly
show examples
,
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 contributors is textiles industry
, for
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 price change, clothing and fabric
products
Use synonyms
 show
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 growth of 15.24% , and surprisingly, there is only
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in the price for the Gems and
jewellery
Use synonyms
 with 5.18%. For looking into the earnings, it shows that in 2016 earning is increased in all industries
while
Linking Words
 an dip is observed in the
jewellery
Use synonyms
 sector, Petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 helped country with income of around 60 billions of dollar and for Engineered good it is about 55 to 60
billion
Use synonyms
 dollar covering 2015-2016, gems and
jewellery
Use synonyms
 stood at third position with approximate 40
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars and 25 to 30
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars for agriculture produce and textiles. For studying the
values
Check wording
value
show examples
 fluctuations of these
Use synonyms
products
Punctuation problem
products,
show examples
 four industries show
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
left
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one
shows
Check wording
industry shows
show examples
 a decrease
, every
Punctuation problem
. Every
show examples
 growth trend
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as 15.24% for textiles, Agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 with slight 0.81% hike, 8.5% for Engineered goods and
lastly
Linking Words
, 3% for Petroleum goods
, there
Punctuation problem
. There
show examples
 is a fall in the value of gems and
jewellery
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 5.18%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, products, jewellery with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • economic sector
  • percentage change
  • increment
  • decrement
  • fluctuation
  • trend analysis
  • year-on-year comparison
  • significant growth/decline
  • stagnation
  • market dynamics
  • fiscal repercussions
  • trade balance
  • competitive advantage
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