IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagreee. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate about whether employers should ask candidates about private matters during job interviews,
such
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 as marital status, hobbies, or leisure activities. Some people believe that
this
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information
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 is irrelevant and should not affect the hiring decision. On the one hand, some personal
information
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 may help employers understand a candidate better.
For example
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, asking about hobbies or interests can make the interview more relaxed and may show whether the candidate would fit into the company culture. In some workplaces, good communication between colleagues is important, and shared interests may help employees build stronger relationships.
As a result
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,
this
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 can sometimes improve teamwork and productivity.
However
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, many personal
questions
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 are not connected to professional skills or job performance.
For instance
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, a person’s marital status, family plans, or private lifestyle should not influence whether they are suitable for a position. Asking
such
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questions
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 may
also
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 lead to discrimination, especially if an employer makes assumptions about a candidate’s availability or commitment.
Therefore
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, candidates should have the right to keep private matters confidential. In conclusion, interview
questions
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 should be limited to
information
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that is
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 relevant to the job and the company’s needs.
Although
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 some general
questions
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 about hobbies may be acceptable, sensitive personal
questions
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 should not be asked. In my opinion, employers should focus mainly on qualifications, experience, and professional abilities rather than private
information
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.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your view. To get a higher score, add one more clear idea for each side.
task response
For task response, your examples are clear but a bit general. Use one more real or more specific example.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To get higher, use a few more linking words between ideas inside the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some points could be developed more. Add one extra sentence to explain why each main idea matters.
task response
For task response, you discuss both views and give a clear opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ideas move in a logical order and are easy to understand.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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