IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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While
Linking Words
 the green
gas
Use synonyms
 emission and global warming
becoming
Verb problem
are becoming
show examples
 a more and more urgent issue, Australia, the only island continent country, is
also
Linking Words
 aware of the severe current conditions and actively participating in the environmental protection campaign.
Recent
Correct article usage
A recent
show examples
 study investigating the Australian household
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and
green
Correct word choice
greenhouse
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 has found some inspiring results. Almost 3 quarters of
energy
Use synonyms
 is used by heating, with one third of the entire
use
Use synonyms
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 occupied by water heating,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 cost from refrigeration is 7%. Meanwhile, the
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 from household doesn’t perfectly align with the
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
. The heating proportion has significantly fallen to less than half of all, implying that
energy
Use synonyms
 used to produce heat has
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
side-effect
Change preposition
as a side effect
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, refrigeration
and
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 lighting and other appliances generate more
emissions
Use synonyms
, showcasing that these sources of
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 has worse impact compared to the major
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
--heating.
This
Linking Words
 anti-intuitive result demonstrated that the true greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
 emission might
coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from the
Use synonyms
energy using
Correct your spelling
energy-using
 domain that we haven’t paid enough focus on, warning us that carefully
examined
Wrong verb form
examining
show examples
 the issue is of vital importance to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gas, energy, use, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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