IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently attended a training course organised by your company, but you were dissatisfied with some aspects of it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Explain which training course you attended Describe the problems you experienced Suggest how future courses could be improved

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Dear
Mr.
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Mr
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 Gill, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with the recently organised training session for the operation of
newly
Correct article usage
the newly
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 installed transfer machine. Two days ago, I joined the workplace course to learn the usage of
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 Maxi transfer lift to allow more efficiency at work, at the same time maximising the safety of the residents living in our long-term care. Since the introduction of
Maxi
Correct article usage
the Maxi
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 lift concept to the building, I have been
excitingly
Use the right word
excitedly
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 waiting to know how to use it. Unfortunately, the course was completely theoretical
making
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, making
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 it worthless, with no practical experience of how to use it.
This
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 is a safety hazard as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of hands-on training poses
threat
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a threat
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 of injury not only to the clients, but
also
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the
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to the
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 staff itself. In order to improve, I would really appreciate it if management could arrange
practical
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a practical
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 training class for all the nursing employees so that they know all the aspects of the machine before actually using it.
This
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 will ensure
safety
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the safety
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 of everyone at work. I look forward to the chance of attending a practical session for the same soon. Thank you for your consideration. Yours sincerely, Gurjeet Kaur

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task response
For task response: You answer all parts of the task, but add one more clear detail about the course and one more idea for how to make future training better.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your letter is easy to follow, but some linking is not smooth. Use simple links like first, however, because, and so.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. This is mostly good, but a few sentences are long and carry too many ideas.
task response
For task response: You clearly say what course you attended, what problem you had, and what should happen next.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end, and the closing is polite and suitable.
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