IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion(250-280words).

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Plants and animals on Earth have been increasingly hurt by human
actions
Use synonyms
, which
over
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, over
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time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 weaken the environment. Some members of society believe that
this
Linking Words
 problem will never be solved.
In contrast
Linking Words
, others make an effort to recycle and support environmentally responsible businesses, as they believe that the damage caused can still be reduced. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the ongoing pollution of the
planet
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 can be changed in a positive way.
This
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 can be achieved by becoming more aware of how simple
actions
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,
such
Linking Words
 as throwing a piece of paper on the street, can contribute to larger environmental problems like pollution. A clear example of
this
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the companies that encourage
people
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 to recycle, reduce, and reuse in order to protect the
planet
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. On the other
side
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hand
show examples
, part of the society states that
this
Linking Words
 problem cannot be changed because a lot of
people
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 are too lazy to start protecting the
planet
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.
This
Linking Words
 is the case of my language teacher’s
sister in law
Correct your spelling
sister-in-law
who
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, who
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 does not recycle because she is indifferent and unconcerned about the environment, something that
also
Linking Words
 happened to other
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people
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people,
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 because when they contaminate the
planet
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 with small
actions
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 like throwing waste on the
street
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street,
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 they do not see the instant damage
so
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, so
show examples
 they do not care about it. In conclusion, our
actions
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 have significant consequences for the Earth,
that
Correct word choice
and
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unfortunately
Punctuation problem
unfortunately,
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 many of them have a negative impact.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words
 issue can be solved if
people
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 become more aware that their daily
actions
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 affect the future of our
planet
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.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You explain each view, but the first side needs more detail.
task response
Give clearer reasons for why change is still possible. Add one strong result of recycling or laws.
task response
Use examples that are more general and more suitable for an academic essay. The family example is too personal and weak.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the end, but state it more directly earlier too.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. This helps the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion', but some ideas inside sentences are too long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Break long sentences into two shorter ones. This will make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make the topic sentence of each body paragraph stronger. Then support it with one or two clear points.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
task response
Your main idea stays on the topic of harm to plants, animals, and the planet.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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