Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems this causes? What are solutions?

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In the contemporary world, it is an undeniable fact that there is strict competition burgeoning between each generation.
However
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, there are an abundance of issues that occur, and
this
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essay will point out some aspects of
this
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phenomenon. For one thing, one of the common substantial problems is an
experience
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distinction among those generations. Particularly,
while
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the youngest individuals are attempting to
enroll
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enrol
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and assess well-paid job opportunities, unfortunately, they are suffering from a lack of
experience
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in their fields. Apparently, entrepreneurs and employers measurably value a long time of knowledge rather than flexible and open-minded workers. Undoubtedly, it has several contributions, but it could be ultimately inefficient in some occupations. More importantly, we are living in a fast-paced world. In that sense,
this
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tempo drives us to compulsory innovation
at the end
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of the day.
Whereas
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, currently, companies are looking for a few years of background,
consequently
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, they are missing vital skills and perks
such
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as instant decision-making, technological familiarity, and
precious
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valuable
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perspectives.
Therefore
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, a restricted perspective becomes a major obstacle to competition with other corporations. Even a brief, modernist supervisor can enhance the firm's reputation and reduce detrimental effects.
Due to
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conventional wisdom,
this
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perception paves the way for dead-end circumstances. Yet, it would be better to create opportunities to combine their skills and exchange ideas. In conclusion,
although
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competition between generations is becoming increasingly intense in the modern era, the lack of opportunities for younger people
due to
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insufficient
experience
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can create numerous drawbacks for companies and society.
Therefore
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, businesses should adopt a more balanced approach by valuing both
experience
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and innovative perspectives in order to achieve long-term success and development.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. You explain problems well, but the solutions are not fully developed.
task response
Give at least one clear solution in a full body paragraph. Explain how it works.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because many sentences are too abstract.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You clearly introduce the topic and give a short ending.
task response
The main problem about young people lacking work experience is relevant.
task response
You try to compare the strengths of old and young workers, which is a useful idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intergenerational competition
  • Age discrimination
  • Adaptability
  • Hiring practices
  • Workforce diversity
  • Upskilling
  • Lifelong learning
  • Flexible working arrangements
  • Ageism
  • Technological proficiency
  • Productivity concerns
  • Diverse skillsets
  • Legislative protection
  • Employment equity
  • Biases
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