IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today’s competitive world, workers need multiple skills to succeed. Which is more important: social skills or academic qualifications?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary workplace, employees are expected to
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
 a wide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
range of
skills
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having knowledge of various departments
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 educational qualifications and social
Use synonyms
skills
Punctuation problem
skills,
show examples
 can facilitate them to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
succeed in their career.
However
Linking Words
, it is better if one has better social abilities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is discussed in
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 following paragraphs.
The first
Correct determiner usage
First
show examples
 and foremost, if any individual has collaborative and interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 their efficiency is
quite
Rephrase
much
show examples
 more positive for any
organization rather
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
 than having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic qualifications.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are high chances that they can get a new job or
promote
Wrong verb form
be promoted
show examples
 quickly in any company.
For example
Linking Words
, in a recent interview
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a well-known businessman, he clearly mentioned that he is ready to hire an employee who has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leadership
skill
Check wording
skills
show examples
 even though he or she is not that
much
Rephrase
apply
show examples
qualified.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
skills
Use synonyms
 can improve your confidence and
also
Linking Words
 help to solve disagreements in
their
Fix the agreement mistake
your
show examples
 life.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may grow in their own firm and can handle the loads of work. To illustrate, a citizen should be a decision-maker and
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to be logical when they are willing to start their own company.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, education is very important in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 any person can get disciplined in their career. It helps them to use their knowledge of different
subjetcs
Correct your spelling
subjects
such
Linking Words
 as Mathematics, Science, and many more in their day-to-day life.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is a survey that the top scientists in the world were once class
topper
Fix the agreement mistake
toppers
show examples
 during their
study
Check wording
studies
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 everything that has been stated so far, though the educational certificates help to form a strong base in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-term career growth,
the socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
show examples
 can help them to
implement
Verb problem
apply
show examples
 in real-life and get better
everytime
Correct your spelling
every time
 with various abilities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say very directly that social skills are more important, and why.
task response
Add one or two more clear and real examples to support your ideas. Your examples now are a bit general.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how social skills help at work with one full idea before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts connect well, but some ideas jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same subject in each paragraph. One paragraph should have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Check reference words like 'they', 'them', and 'these type of skills' because sometimes the meaning is not fully clear.
task response
You answered the question and gave a clear opinion that social skills are more important.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to support your view with examples from work and business.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: