IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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It has been argued that the majority of nations convert public lives to urban
life
Use synonyms
;
as a consequence
Linking Words
, the population in rural
locations
Use synonyms
 is declining.
This
Linking Words
 general trend has many advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Verb problem
providing
show examples
 proper education to those individuals who live in the countryside, and the convenience and comfortable
life
Use synonyms
 for those people. There is a significant issue that farmers in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places that suffer from a lack of sources of education. These citizens have to send their adolescents to the universities that
in
Verb problem
are in
show examples
 urban
locations
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 action has many drawbacks
to the
Change preposition
for
show examples
 parents
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 cannot afford a proper
life
Use synonyms
 for their children.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle lived in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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 before going to the capital
due to
Linking Words
 the acceptance that his son received at King Saud University. The civilians in the main cities have a better quality of
life
Use synonyms
 than those in secondary cities. The fact that many citizens used to live in the countryside before hearing about the high quality
that
Check wording
of life that
show examples
 the people in urban
locations
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 have.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these civilians
convey
Verb problem
leave
show examples
 their lives
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 urban
locations
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 seeking a greater good.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government of Saudi Arabia has published a survey that confirmed that 95% of the population has moved to live in the main cities owing to the lack of resources and the ideal daily
life
Use synonyms
 that they need. In conclusion, the general trend in today's world is moving to urban
locations
Use synonyms
 to
seeking
Wrong verb form
seek
show examples
 comfort;
as a result
Linking Words
, the number of individuals in rural counties is decreasing.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if this change is good or bad in the first part, and keep this idea all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear reason to support your opinion. Your ideas are relevant, but they need more full explanation.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and more closely linked to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a clearer order. Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning changes too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, because, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and that all sentences in it support that idea.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about movement from rural areas to cities.
task response
You give two main reasons: education and better life in cities.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs to separate ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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