IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the site of a farm in 1950 and the same site today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two maps illustrate Beechwood
Farm
Use synonyms
 in 1950 and nowadays, showing how the
farm
Use synonyms
 has developed.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were only agricultural locations in Beechwood
farm
Use synonyms
 in 1950;
however
Linking Words
, gradually, some new parts have been built related to the tourist industry in the
farm
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the holiday cottages and the camping field.
According to
Linking Words
 the maps, the new
farm
Use synonyms
 shop has been built in the fruit trees’
land
Use synonyms
 on the south-western side,
although
Linking Words
 there are no location changes in the soft fruits’ lands and the vegetables’
land
Use synonyms
 over the period. In the middle of the
land
Use synonyms
, the new camping huts, which are located near the parking, have been constructed, and there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 no
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
 in 1950 in the middle of the
land
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the barn has been converted into holiday cottages,
while
Linking Words
 the new barn can be seen between the two roads. Meanwhile, there are new parking slots near the solar panels.

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task response
For task response, add more of the main changes. You wrote about some new parts, but you missed some key points or did not make them very clear.
task response
For task response, compare the two time periods more directly. Use clear lines like 'in 1950... but today...' more often.
task response
For task response, be careful with place words. Some lines are not fully clear, so the reader may not know the exact place.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start and an overview, which is good. To get a higher score, group ideas in a more logical way, such as one paragraph for land use and one for buildings and visitor areas.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use linking words in a simple but clear way, for example: 'while', 'in contrast', 'to the north', 'to the south'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are a bit hard to follow. Keep each sentence short and give one main idea in each one.
task response
You gave a clear overview of the main change: the farm changed from only farm use to tourist use too.
task response
You included some important details, like the barn changing into holiday cottages and the new camping area.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple paragraph order, and the ideas mostly move in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like 'however', 'although', 'in addition', and 'meanwhile'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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