IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Schools should organize activities after class.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Conducting
an
Correct article usage
apply
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activities for students after their classes may sound
as
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like
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 a thoughtful idea.
However
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,in order to implement
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this
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this,
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 the
schools
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school's
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 responsibility will increase
and
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, and
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 parents permition are required. On one hand,
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 are essential for kids
and
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, and
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 it has more positive impact
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then
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than
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 you think
through
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. Through
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 enjoyment and fun group
games
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games,
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 they could gain a
varios
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variety
 of skill
such
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 as communication skills,leadership and teamwork skills
Punctuation problem
. Also,
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also
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 it will enhance their critical thinking and imagination
in
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. In
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fact
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fact,
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 because of the balance of
entertaiment
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entertainment
 and studing it could give them a motive to come to school
everyday
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every day
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.
On the other hand
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, too many activities
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 with a consiquinces.
Firstly
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, it will distract the child and
waist
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waste
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 his energy on playing rather than
the
Change preposition
on
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 important learning.
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secondly
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Secondly
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, teatcher will stay overtime to take care of students
and
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, and
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this
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 will cost the school to pay
the
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for the
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 extra time.
Finally
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, the risk of conflict between kids will increase. In conclusion,
organizing
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organising
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 an
entertaiment
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entertainment
 time for
student
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students
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 is important
but
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, but
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 not as far as the vital role of studing finding the balance
of the
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between
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 both is the key

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in the first part and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two simple real examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they are short. Show why after-school activities help students and why they may cause problems.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part. This helps the reader follow your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result. Some sentences are too long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph balance. The second body part is clear, but both body parts need more even support and development.
task response
You wrote about both sides of the topic, so your essay feels complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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