IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore, every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

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Access to pure
water
Use synonyms
 is an essential requirement for
people
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,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
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 argue that humans need a
water
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 connection, which is supplied by the government without any cost. I completely agree with that statement because the unclean
water
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 consumption can increase
people
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's
health
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problems
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if
people
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 have a
zero cost
Correct your spelling
zero-cost
water
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 supply, it can help to
people
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 improve their economic
stage
Check wording
status
show examples
;
as a result
Linking Words
,
citizens
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' mental
health
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 can increase significantly.
Although
Linking Words
 every
citizens
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 require a clean
water
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 supply, some countries'
people
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 cannot access pure
water
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 because of the government’s charges.
Consequently
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,
people
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 use unhygienic
water
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;
as a result
Linking Words
,
health
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problems
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, which are the main concern in African countries, increase significantly.
For instance
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, Japanese scientists who researched the unclean
water
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 consumption have found that using unhygienic
water
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 can be
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
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 for the dangerous
health
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 conditions,
such
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 as heart
problems
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. If
people
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 have zero cost
water
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 supply, it will definitely improve their economic level so that
people
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 can use that money for
on
Change preposition
apply
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essential spending
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their lives,
such
Linking Words
 as education and
health
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.
Moreover
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, when
imporving
Correct your spelling
improving
citizens
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' economic level, it will positively affect
people
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's mental
health
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the consumption fee of
water
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 in Australia has been reduced to zero by the government;
as a result
Linking Words
, Australian
people
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 spend their time happily compared to the past. In conclusion, in spite of some
problems
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, I completely believe that the government should provide a clean
water
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 supply without any bills.
People
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 who have these benefits can improve their economic level, and it will definitely help
citizens
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 to prevent hazardous
health
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problems
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.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Start each part with one simple topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are good, but a few sentences feel long or hard to follow.
task achievement
Add one more clear and real example. Your examples are helpful, but they feel too general.
task achievement
Explain your ideas a little more. Show exactly how free water helps health and money.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea words too much, like 'health problems' and 'economic level'.
task achievement
You answer the question clearly and give a strong opinion from the start.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your main ideas are easy to see: health and money.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
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