If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
It is often suggested that every staff
members
Fix the agreement mistake
member
show examples
working in a
company
Use synonyms
should be paid equally, regardless of position, to promote harmony and cooperation among them. In my opinion, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because equal wages would eliminate competition and jealousy among coworkers;
however
Linking Words
, the lack of
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
incentive could reduce motivation for employees to
work
Use synonyms
harder
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
can harm the
company
Use synonyms
's profits. Being paid based on roles or any other
criterias
Replace the word
criteria
,
this
Linking Words
can cause conflicts among staff members
due to
Linking Words
beliefs of unfair wage distribution despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
performance.
This
Linking Words
can have a negative impact on the
work
Use synonyms
environment and culture.
For example
Linking Words
, a manager
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
who has poor
work
Use synonyms
performance and attitude, whose employees do not want to cooperate and listen to his instructions,
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to an unproductive workplace.
Thus
Linking Words
, having equal wages for everyone in the
company
Use synonyms
can help eliminate unwanted
behavious
Correct your spelling
behaviour
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the inadequate pay could
also
Linking Words
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to unproductivity because of the reduced motivation to take incentives at
work
Use synonyms
.
Competiveness
Replace the word
Competitiveness
can be helpful for certain positions
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
sales. Setting a specific goal for employees to achieve with promises of promotion and better perks, it motivates everyone to
work
Use synonyms
harder and take more responsibility to get those benefits.
For instance
Linking Words
,
sale
Replace the word
sales
representatives can come up
innovative
Change preposition
with innovative
show examples
ideas to push profits for the
company
Use synonyms
, which in
turns
Check wording
turn
show examples
can earn a higher commission. In conclusion, I agree, to some extent, that equal wages regardless of role can promote better cooperation
due to
Linking Words
the lack of envy and competitiveness among workers;
however
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
harm a
company
Use synonyms
's profits as the lack of financial incentive can lead to
unambitious
Correct article usage
an unambitious
show examples
workforce, potentially lowering
overall
Linking Words
productivity.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but your position could stay more exact from start to end. Keep one clear line: you partly agree because equal pay may bring peace, but it may also cut drive to work hard.
task response
For task response, explain your ideas more deeply. Some points are good, but a few need more detail about why equal pay would really change staff behavior and company results.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant, but they can be more direct and more real. Try to show how one company or one kind of worker would be affected in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear 4-part shape: intro, 2 body parts, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word form problems. Use shorter sentences and link one idea to the next more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make topic sentences stronger. Start each body paragraph with one main idea, then add support and an example.
task response
You answered both sides of the question and gave your own view. This is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and match each other well.
task response
You used examples about managers and sales workers, which helps support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmony
  • cohesion
  • financial incentive
  • productivity
  • equity
  • organizational culture
  • highly skilled professionals
  • innovation and competitiveness
  • redistribution of tasks
  • job satisfaction
  • meritocracy
  • contributions and achievements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: