The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph shows
participation
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
number
for
Change preposition
of participants for
show examples
various events and sports at
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
centre in Melbourne, Australia
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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two decades from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
participation rate soared for some activities, others witnessed a decline, and one remained popular
overtime
Use the right word
over time
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the film club appeared as the most popular activity. In 2000, it started
approximately
Change preposition
with approximately
show examples
64
members
Use synonyms
, and for the first
decade
Add a comma
decade,
show examples
it experienced
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
dip to 60 people. But it eventually increased to 65
members
Use synonyms
in 2020. Martial arts fluctuated over the years. It started with nearly 36 participants in 2000, but decreased to roughly 30 in 2005 .
However
Linking Words
, it gradually grew to 39
members
Use synonyms
in 2010. For the next decade, it followed the same changing trend with little decline in 2015 and growth in 2020. Table tennis showed a significant rising trend. In 2000, there were just below 20 participants, with a slight increase to just over 20 people by 2005. It remained stable for 5 years before a dramatic boost to more than 50
members
Use synonyms
in the final year, 2020. Amateur dramatics,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, experienced the biggest downward trend in two decades. For the first 5
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
it rose from around 26 to approximately 29 participants before witnessing a rapid drop from 29 to almost 7 people in 2020.
Finally
Linking Words
, musical performances started from nothing in 2005. They steadily gained popularity, reaching around 12 in 2010 and approximately 19 in 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words members with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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