Many people put their personal information online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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these

Fix the agreement mistake

this

show examples

generation, the issue

that

Verb problem

is that

show examples

people share their personal

inforamtion

Correct your spelling

information

online for daily connection

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

socializing

Change the spelling

socialising

show examples

on social media platforms or

finacial

Correct your spelling

financial

purposes. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem and

expalin

Correct your spelling

explain

why I think it is a unapporiate development.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of

primary

Correct article usage

the primary

show examples

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

is the

highly

Correct word choice

high

show examples

risk of privacy leaking.

This

Linking Words

is because

individuals

Use synonyms

prefer using technology,

such

Linking Words

as online

bank application

Check wording

banking applications

show examples

, for their banking purposes. It becomes a significant problem

which

Change preposition

for the

show examples

elderly

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

easily

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

scammed online by sending their online bank password on the internet.

Secondly

Linking Words

, another major reason is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

personal security. It is because some people may find your exact location from the pictures you posted online. As the technology advanced far more effectively than before, it

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

much easier for

individuals

Use synonyms

to find out

others

Check wording

others'

show examples

personal details online. Some groups of people

also

Linking Words

claimed that never posting

picture

Check wording

pictures

show examples

directly to social media platforms,because it might

let

Verb problem

put

show examples

you stuck into danger situation. In conclusion, I believe

this

Linking Words

denefinitely

Correct your spelling

definitely

a negative development in our society.

This

Linking Words

is because, nowadays, more and more

individuals

Use synonyms

rely too much on the internet, which

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not only

higher

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

the risk of their privacy leaking, but

also

Linking Words

decline

Correct subject-verb agreement

decreases

show examples

their interpersonal skills. To

sovle

Correct your spelling

solve

this

Linking Words

problem,

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should place more importance on

security

Correct article usage

the security

show examples

system, and

individuals

Use synonyms

sholud

Correct your spelling

should

also

Linking Words

focus on their own safety when they post something online.

ninichang0613

May 18, 2026

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task response

Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why it is negative in the first paragraph.

task response

Give one or two clear examples. For example, talk about a real risk from online banking or social media.

task response

Explain your ideas more. Some points are short, so the reader wants more detail.

coherence and cohesion

Use one main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and as a result.

coherence and cohesion

Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts feel broken or unclear.

task response

You answer the topic and give a clear opinion that it is negative.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

The main ideas are mostly relevant to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
cybercrimes
identity theft
financial fraud
enhanced social connectivity
dependence on technology
customised services
privacy concerns
data breaches
social networks
personal information
online platforms

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Many people put their personal information online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agre or disagree?

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home, and more children will study from home, as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this will be a positive or negative deuelopment?

Many students graduate high school and face a decision where to continue their education. Some students choose to study abroad while other students choose to remain in their country. Outline the advantages of studying abroad and give the benefits of studying in your home country.

Write a letter to the company to complain about the poor service you received from its employee. In your letter, express why you went to the shop/office how the employees behaved to offend you what you expect the company to do

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better?