IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six computer science subjects at a US university in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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This
Linking Words
 figure
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of
men
Use synonyms
 and women research students studying in six different computer science classes at a US university in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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 between
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 vary in specific subjects,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 in mathematics, programming and engineering.
To begin
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 with, the
digits
Check wording
number
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 of subject
Use synonyms
men
Check wording
apply
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boys
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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 the
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of girls in
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
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taking
Verb problem
apply
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in general. Four out of six class shows that
men
Use synonyms
 are the majority
mainly
Punctuation problem
, mainly
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those
Change preposition
due to
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 extensive field controls by
Use synonyms
men
Punctuation problem
men,
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that's
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 explains the increase.
That is
Linking Words
prove
Replace the word
proof
 that most majors
still
Verb problem
are still
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 predominantly
by
Verb problem
populated by
show examples
men
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, linguistic overtake
females
Correct word choice
female
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 students
while
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less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
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 than around 80 in males. Natural science matches in percentage in both genders
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 nearly
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
identical
digits
Check wording
apply
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,
whereas
Linking Words
psychology
Change preposition
in psychology
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. The difference
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost 30 to 40
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 between males and females. College majors
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 linguistics are highly requested among women because it offers stable jobs in teaching.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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