IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that companies should give importance to their employees, whereas others say that they should give importance to customers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A lot of people believe that firms must give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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significance to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
workers
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,
while
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 others say that
Linking Words
this significance it is better to give
Correct word order
it is better to give significance
show examples
 to buyers. I will
ducuss
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discuss
 both views, but in my opinion, if the worker is statisfied for his job, he can give creative
ideas
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 and physical labour. And those two factors can attract customers and make the
company
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succesful
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successful
. On the one hand, some managers only
do
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apply
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think about the profit, and they give tasks and requirements
for
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to
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 their
workers
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. And those chiefs sometimes ignore motive those
workers
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 from time to time.
After
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Over
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 time,
workers
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 may not give good work
as same
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apply
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as before, when they are unsatisfied for thier job anymore. So they can
do
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apply
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not give
ideas
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 or physical work.
Therefore
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,
this
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 can
reflact
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reflect
 on the
Use synonyms
company
Check wording
company's
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 sales in a negative way. In
addirtion
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addition
, the
satisfiction
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satisfaction
 of
workers
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 is the most important factor in the
comany
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company
. When it can have a negative or good
consuqunces
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consequence
 on any factory. Unlike
this
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if
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, if
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the
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apply
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someone is satified about his job. He will aim to support it
from his
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with
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 all
what
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that
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 he
have
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has
show examples
 from creative innovations or any
ideas
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.
For example
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, the
silicon-valley
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Silicon Valley
 firms that
recgonize
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recognise
 the importance of
this
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, when they
peovide
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provide
 sports, shops, and
restaurants
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restaurant
show examples
 facilities for their
workers
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. When
this
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 is part of their
achiviements
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achievements
, and their race between them.
On the other hand
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, companies do a lot efforts to create suitable products,
then
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 advirtize
this
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 product. But if
this
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do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not
face
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meet
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 a
person
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person's
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 needs, he can give
a
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apply
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negative feedback
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also
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and
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 recommend it in
bad
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a bad
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 way
for
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to
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 his friend or his relatives. So the
faillure
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failure
 of products
come
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comes
show examples
 from buyers,
also
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 the success of it. When people take a good impression about
Use synonyms
company
Punctuation problem
company,
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 they can do the same in
positive
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a positive
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 way. So the buyer
have
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has
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 a high
potintial
Correct your spelling
potential
 to succeed
any
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in any
show examples
 product and firm. In my opinion, the worker is
most
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the most
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 important element for
success
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the success
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any
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of any
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company
Use synonyms
, so
his satisfition
Fix the agreement mistake
their satisfaction
show examples
 is
so
Rephrase
very
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 important. When
if
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apply
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he satified he can support the
company
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 all
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 he
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 from
Use synonyms
ideas
Correct determiner usage
his ideas
show examples
 or efforts.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people put customers first, and why some put workers first.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from the start and keep it the same in all parts.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body part, then add one simple example or result.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, because, so, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same point many times. Add new support for each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some lines are hard to follow, so make shorter sentences.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to use an example about big tech firms to support your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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