IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Many people believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should provide
graduates
Use synonyms
 with practical ability and workplace
skills
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
 prepares them for employment. Others,
however
Linking Words
, argue that the main function of higher education should be to provide the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and encourage intellectual development because
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is valuable in its own right. In my opinion,
universities
Use synonyms
 should equip
graduates
Use synonyms
 with a
foundation
Use synonyms
 of
knowledge
Use synonyms
,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them capable
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 independently
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 their career path.
Body · 1
The primary function of
universities
Use synonyms
 is to equip students with a solid
foundation
Use synonyms
 regardless of the major they study.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
 can use
this
Linking Words
knowledge
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 and learned
skill
Check wording
skills
show examples
 and pursue a variety of career paths , either in academia or industry.
For instance
Linking Words
, the computer science
graduates
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 may work as developers, technical support specialists, whil other could choose academic careers as scientists or researchers.
This
Linking Words
 demonstrates how an educational
foundation
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 allow student to adapt to different professional environments.
Body · 2
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, nowadays,
graduates
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 need to be equipped with practical
skills
Use synonyms
 in order to adapt quickly to the workplace.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it increases their chances to compete with others since the employer generally prefers the job-ready candidates.
In addition
Linking Words
, the companies burden the period of time until the new employee takes time to handle professional tasks independently. In conclusion, developing practical
skills
Use synonyms
 through study leads to shortening the gap between graduation and entering the job market.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, the main function of
universities
Use synonyms
 is to design programs with a balance between providing a solid
foundation
Use synonyms
 and practical
skills
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, empower students by enabling elective courses to tailor their study in effecient personolize way.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the main question from the start. Say what you think in one direct line.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need one more step: why and how.
task response
Use a more specific example. The computer science example is relevant, but it is still a bit general.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and clear way. Some lines do not connect well, especially in the first body part.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because small errors make the flow less smooth.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main topic of each part is usually clear.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifelong learning
  • Holistic development
  • Vocational training
  • Industry-specific competencies
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative problem-solving
  • Academic research
  • Intellectual development
  • Ethics and values
  • Societal contribution
  • Job market demands
  • Practical training
  • Internships
  • Knowledge advancement
  • Global challenges
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