IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to move and more tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages?

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Introduction
Nowadays, worldwide travel can be affordable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
welcome
to having
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
tourists
Use synonyms
. I think
this
Linking Words
 can have
drawback
Correct article usage
a drawback
show examples
 on
countries
Use synonyms
. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 can benefit from all those
tourists
Use synonyms
. When
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
people
Use synonyms
 can spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money on local attractions. So, they can increase the
Use synonyms
country economic
Replace the word
country's economy
.
Body · 1
On the one hand, sometimes, local citizens may try to travel abroad on
holidays
Check wording
holiday
show examples
, out of their motherland. Sometimes,
foregin contries
Correct your spelling
foreign countries
 can be cheaper than their motherland. Meanwhile, now
countries
Use synonyms
 may try to attract those
people
Use synonyms
 to
easing
Wrong verb form
ease
show examples
 the process of tourist visa for them. So,
tourists
Use synonyms
 can have the visa online.
The
Change preposition
As a
show examples
 result of
this
Linking Words
, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 can come to spend their vacations there. With
this
Linking Words
, they can visit the main attractions of these cities.
Besides
Linking Words
, they can go to other
places
Use synonyms
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 not famous.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 cities that have beaches or
religous
Correct word choice
religious
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 trips. So, it is a chance for the city to
utillze
Correct your spelling
utilise
 its
places
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 go to Egypt
for visiting
Wrong verb form
to visit
show examples
the great pyramids in
giza
Fix capitalization
Giza
show examples
.
during
Fix capitalization
During
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 can discover
places
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Dahab
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they try to visit all cities in the
country
Use synonyms
.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 are spending
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
currancy
Correct your spelling
currency
 in these
places
Use synonyms
.
Body · 2
So, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of locals can utllize from the
differance
Correct your spelling
difference
 of the
currancy
Correct your spelling
currency
. And doubled their income. And, they may share their experiences with those
places
Use synonyms
 on the internet or with their friends.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more
tourists
Use synonyms
 can come from around the world. The host
country
Use synonyms
 of those
toursts
Correct your spelling
tourists
 can twofold its yearly income. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some of those visitors can work illegally. So they cannot pay taxes for their work.
Conclusion
However
Linking Words
, the idea of easing the process of
tourist
Correct article usage
a tourist
show examples
 visa can attract a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 worldwide
for visiting
Wrong verb form
to visit
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
. So, locals and the host
country
Use synonyms
 can benefit from the difference of currancy paying. When they can have
two times higher
Correct word choice
twice the
show examples
 income.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 those
tourists
Use synonyms
 can attract
other
Replace the word
others
 to visit the city
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 sharing their experiences. Because of
this
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think
this
Linking Words
 development has more advantages than
his
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
disadvantages.

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task response
Give a clear answer from the start and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Explain why the good points are stronger than the bad points with one clear reason in each body part.
task response
Use one or two simple and real examples, and explain them more.
coherence cohesion
Put each main idea in its own paragraph and do not mix many ideas in one long part.
coherence cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, however, and as a result in the right place.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each sentence clearly connects to the one before it.
task response
You answer the question and talk about both good and bad sides.
task response
You give an example about Egypt, so your ideas are not too general.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You often use linking words like however, so, and therefore.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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