Travel from and to work is becoming more difficult. One solution is that employers should allow employees to work at home. Do you agree that the advantages are more than disadvantages?

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A transportation
Correct determiner usage
Transportation
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for
work
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is becoming harder. The solution is that
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worker
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workers
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can
permit
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be permitted
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to
work
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at
house
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home
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. Sometimes
this
Linking Words
can affect negatively on the
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workers
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workers'
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performance, if they have
children
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. When
,
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apply
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they can make much
noise
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. The advantage of
this
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can be greater.
While
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,
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apply
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people can
less
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reduce
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their expenses on
fuels
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fuel
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and
food
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, they sometimes
convince
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feel compelled
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to buy if there any long day at
work
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.
Firstly
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, some
workers
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may not have a car to drive to their companies. Sometimes those can face
delay
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a delay
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sometimes because of traffic jams.
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Also
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Also,
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this
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can happen
for
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to
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car owners
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apply
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also
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.
This
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can make their managers cut
from
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apply
show examples
their
salary
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salaries
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, because of delaying from the
work
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.
Whereas
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, if they
work
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from their home, they can avoid these
problem
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problems
show examples
and save their income.
Additionally
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, the car fuel
money
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they
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apply
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can
utilise
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be utilised
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for saving
its
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apply
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money
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. With
this
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, they cannot worry if the prices of
fuels
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fuel
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increase anytime.
Also
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,
other
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they tend to do other habits
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habits
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they tend to do in their offices.
Such
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as
order
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ordering
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fast
food
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and
buy
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buying
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drinks during their
work
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time. When
,
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apply
show examples
these
habits
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can be simple and affordable,
But
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but
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with daily doing them.
In
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At
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the end of the month, they can find themselves consume much
money
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on these
habits
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. Unlike
, home
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at home,
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they can find
food
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and drinks anytime without any charge. As
the
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a
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result,
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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offline can ensure that
workers
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attend
at
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to
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their
work
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time
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on time
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exactly
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apply
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, meetings or
replay
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replies
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for
massages
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messages
. When there is no chance for delaying because of
roads
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road
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traffic.
Also
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, the
worker
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can benefit from
this
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to
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by
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giving up a lot
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habits
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of habits
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that
consuming
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consume
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his
money
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. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
the
home
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homework
work
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can be
destractive
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distracting
for the employees. If they have
children
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, sometimes, they may not understand or respect the
work
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environment
for
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of
show examples
their parents. So, they may play during their
parents
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parents'
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work
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time and make
noise
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. And,
this
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can harm a lot
worker
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for example
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, call centre
who
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workers who
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need a calm environment to
deilever
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deliver
and hear calls
,
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apply
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clearly. As
the
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a
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result of the
noise
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, they can fail to hear the caller. And he cannot solve the problem of the caller, so
this
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can harm his
work
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and his performance. But, the
workers
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can solve
this
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for
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to
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make a room for themselves far from
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children
Correct determiner usage
the
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noise
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.
Change preposition
of children.
show examples
In conclusion, the problem of online
work
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is
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children
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children's
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noise
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, but people can solve to make a room for
work
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. But I think online
work
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can save the
worker
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money
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, when he cannot spend on
fuels
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fuel
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and
food
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,
also
Linking Words
caanot
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cannot
face any
delaying
Replace the word
delays
because of the traffic. So all these can help employees to save more
money
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
greater advantages
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the people
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than the disadvantages.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first part. Say clearly that you think the good points are bigger than the bad points.
coherence cohesion
Use ideas that are easy to follow. One main idea in each body part is better.
task response
Give one or two clear examples with simple detail. This will make your points stronger.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Do not use too many short linking words like 'Also' and 'When'.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence supports the main point of the paragraph.
task response
You answered both sides and gave your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples about traffic, fuel, food, and children.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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