The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones of students. Write an essay, showing whether are you agree or not. give reasons and examples to support your opinion

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There is a notion claiming that a method where teachers mainly focus on rewarding students and completely overlook their inaccuracies is predominantly effective.
However
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, I totally disagree with it, as
this
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can lead to selfishness and blunders. First of all, considering that teenagers are developing individuals, they not only acquire academic knowledge but
also
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learn how to behave in certain situations, and their personal traits are still being developed.
Therefore
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, persistent rewarding may create a solipsistic viewpoint.
For example
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, a pupil who constantly receives awards and congratulations will gain notoriety and eminence in the classroom. In the long-term perspective, he will become a selfish and self-oriented
person
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, unable to work in a team and collaborate with his counterparts. Meanwhile, cooperation and teamwork are valuable skills in a contemporary
globalized
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globalised
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world.
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, neglecting students' mistakes might be detrimental to their future careers, as the ability to comprehend one's own weaknesses and improve them is indispensable because it fosters self-development and ingenuity.
Moreover
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, mistakes that are not addressed on time may be costly.
For instance
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, a wrong calculation made by a student in mathematics. If sufficient attention is not paid to
this
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issue, it can trigger exam failure or the bankruptcy of an
organization
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organisation
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in the future,
in the case that
Correct word choice
if
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these shortcomings are repeated. In conclusion, frequently repeated mistakes carry
high-rate risks
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high-risk consequences
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not only for one
person
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but
also
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for others, meaning that correcting them is pivotal.
Additionally
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, constant rewarding can result in the development of a selfish
person
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who is not capable of working in a team.
Therefore
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, probably the most effective way to teach is to combine both of these methods, so that a
person
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will be able to independently work upon
his
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their
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weaknesses, collaborate with others, and thrive.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you do not agree and why.
task response
Use simpler and clearer examples. Your math example is good, but the link to future work can be explained more step by step.
task response
Develop each main idea a little more. Add one more sentence to show how praise only can harm a student and how correction can help.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and conclusion. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, like First of all, Furthermore, In conclusion. But do not overuse long phrases. Simple links are often better.
coherence and cohesion
A few ideas are a bit too general. Make the connection between cause and result clearer in each paragraph.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it through the whole essay.
task response
You cover both sides of the idea: praise and ignoring mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and match each other well.
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