IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many places,new homes are needed,but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what is your opinion about this?

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In
the
Correct word choice
recent
show examples
last
Linking Words
 these days, constructing living places, especially in
villages
Use synonyms
 are the best option to migrate easily. In opposite, folks are thinking that limiting the building in
villages
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, I
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
dissallowing
Correct your spelling
disallowing
 new
houses
Use synonyms
 in
villages
Use synonyms
 would be
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 option
attributing
Use the right word
contributing
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 to
preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
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 of the
origin
Replace the word
original
 environment of
nature
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 believe that having many
houses
Use synonyms
 indicate prosperity of
theirself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, they can migrate easily from crowded cities to
peacefull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
villages
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 notion, as
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
 determination, will brutally
allows
Wrong verb form
allow
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 individuals or groups to acquire more.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
villages
Use synonyms
 that offer calmness will obviously
turns
Wrong verb form
turn
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 into a copy of busy cities.
In addition
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
massively
Verb problem
are massively
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 emerging
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
, the circumstances of the
Use synonyms
nature
Replace the word
natural
 places,
such
Linking Words
 as green
forest
Check wording
forests
show examples
, calm
river
Check wording
rivers
show examples
, and birds chirping, will eventually change into
traffic busy city sounds
Correct word order
the sounds of a busy city
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, it will be highly
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
 for
inhibitant
Check wording
inhabitants
show examples
 who live
peacufully
Correct your spelling
peacefully
 in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, prohibiting
people
Use synonyms
 from
construct
Wrong verb form
constructing
show examples
 more
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 is one of the crucial option that need to be attention. Existence of the government is
also
Linking Words
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 by collaborating with
people
Use synonyms
 from
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
 about how to establish without constructing more
houses
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, making the
villages
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a tourist location
owning
Wrong verb form
owned
show examples
 by
inhabitant
Check wording
inhabitants
show examples
 without removing the origin
nature
Use synonyms
 will obviously raise the economical vilage and eventually be
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
 for
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
economical
Replace the word
economic
 benefit will be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 greatest fuel for
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
 to establish current buildings, country
road
Check wording
roads
show examples
, lower cluster supports and so on. In conclusion,
emerging
Verb problem
building
show examples
 many buildings like
houses
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 necessary only for
people
Use synonyms
 who gain prosperity, yet preserving the
origin
Replace the word
original
villages
Use synonyms
 by considering the
Use synonyms
nature
Replace the word
natural
 places
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more essential. I believe that making
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 more economically creative by creating tourist locations will be a greater
an economically
Replace the word
economic
 advantage for
inhabitant
Check wording
inhabitants
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first part. Say clearly why you think the countryside should be protected.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and one simple example. Some ideas are there, but they are not fully explained.
task response
Stay close to the topic. Some parts talk about moving and money, but the link to new homes in the countryside is not always clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Sometimes the link between sentences is weak or unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main point in each paragraph and support it step by step. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it through the essay.
task response
You try to give reasons such as nature protection and village life.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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