Some people think that strick punishment for driving offences are key to reducing traffic accidents. Others however believe that other measures would improve road safety. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The majority of communities have their own houseless persons; some individuals believe that the greatest way to assist them is by providing them with funds. From my point of view, I agree with the statement because
this
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will lead to a
strong
Punctuation problem
strong,
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compassionate culture;
however
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, I
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also
Verb problem
am also
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convinced that people in need must learn how to fight poverty. First of all, I think establishing an empathic society, where people look out for one another and work together to find solutions, will promote respect and dignity for all individuals.
This
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can be done through building specialised organisations to enable a diverse range of civilians to afford essential resources like food, clothing, medical care, and access to shelter programs.
For example
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, when a poor person gets
helped
Wrong verb form
help
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directly, he will feel happy and thankful.
This
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will give him a positive attitude toward
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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will result in making everyone connected and responsible.
Secondly
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, after being encouraged and supported through getting the opportunities and resources,
here
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apply
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comes the action of the needy person to start a new independent life;
in other words
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, if there is a lack of stability, hygiene, and education,
along with
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getting time to recover mentally, they won’t be able to work.
For instance
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, many countries are suffering from war, and we can see how the homeless people are
surviving
Verb problem
struggling
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to move to other developed regions;
this
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transition makes them feel
self-sufficiency
Replace the word
self-sufficient
and start having an anti-poverty personality to show their success.   In conclusion, I would like to say
financial
Correct word choice
that financial
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aid can empower individuals to rebuild their lives
again
Rephrase
apply
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.

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task response
Write about the given topic only. Your essay talks about homeless people, but the task is about road safety and driving offences.
task response
Answer all parts of the question. You need to discuss both views and give your opinion.
task response
Use ideas that are clear and stay on one main point in each body paragraph.
task response
Give examples that match the topic. Your examples should be about traffic, drivers, roads, police, or safety rules.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas easier to follow. Some sentences are hard to connect.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice and grammar because unclear language can hurt flow and meaning.
coherence and cohesion
End with a conclusion that clearly repeats your opinion on the exact topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay uses paragraphing, which helps the reader.
task response
You try to explain your ideas with reasons and examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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