IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some university
students
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 prefer to study
subjects
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 beyond their main field of study,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that all their time and effort should be devoted to obtaining a qualification.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before
explain
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explaining
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 why
i
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I
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 believe that a balance between the two approaches is the most beneficial. On the
one
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 hand, studying additional
subjects
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 can bring considerable benefits.
One
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 major advantage is that it broadens
students
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’ perspectives by exposing them to different fields of
knowledge
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.
For example
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, an engineering student who studies psychology and economics may develop a deeper understanding of human behaviour and social issues.
This
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 contributes significantly to more comprehensive thinking, as
students
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 are able to analyse problems from multiple perspectives rather than relying solely on the
knowledge
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 of their major.
In addition
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, learning a variety of
subjects
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 can stimulate curiosity and encourage lifelong learning, which are valuable qualities in a rapidly changing world. On the
another
Correct determiner usage
other
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 hand, many people argue
that
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apply
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that university
students
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 should focus entirely on their main
subjects
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.
One
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 major reason why
this
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 view is popular is that university courses are becoming increasingly
specialized
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specialised
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. To obtain a qualification and succeed in their future careers,
students
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 are required to master a large amount of professional
knowledge
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 and practical skills. If too much time is spent on unrelated
subjects
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, academic performance in their major may suffer.
As a result
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,
students
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 may find it more difficult to achieve the qualifications and expertise
excepted
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expected
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 by employers. In my opinion,
students
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 should
prioritize
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prioritise
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 their main
subjects
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while
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also
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 exploring other disciplines when time permits. Obtaining a qualification should remain their primary objective;
however
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, studying additional
subjects
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 can complement their specialist
knowledge
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 and help them become more well-rounded individuals. By maintaining
this
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 balance,
students
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 can benefit from both professional depth and intellectual breadth. In conclusion,
while
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 studying other
subjects
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 can broaden
knowledge
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 and improve critical thinking, concentrating
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on one
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one
Check wording
one's
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 own major is essential for
academical
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academic
 and professional success.
Therefore
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, a balanced approach is the most effective option.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You discuss both views, but you can add a little more detail to each side.
task response
Make your opinion even clearer in the middle of the essay, not only in the intro and conclusion.
task response
Use a more direct example with real study or job cases to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking phrases. For example, say 'On the other hand', not 'On the another hand'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are a little long. Shorter sentences can make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and all support goes back to it.
task response
You answer both parts of the question and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in general, and the order is logical.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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