IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graphs below show number of people in Europe affected by four types of noise pollution in 2007

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The given bar graphs illustrate the number of impacted individuals by noise pollution- categorised into
traffic
Use synonyms
, trains,
aircraft
Use synonyms
, and
industry
Use synonyms
 in Europe in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, noise impacted
people
Use synonyms
 much more during the
day
Use synonyms
 compared with at
night
Use synonyms
. A huge number of residents, who lived both in cities and remote areas, were affected by
traffic
Use synonyms
 during the
day
Use synonyms
. The
industry
Use synonyms
 had less impact on
people
Use synonyms
's lives. Observing dwellers in cities in detail, 68
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 were influenced by the noise of the
traffic
Use synonyms
 during a
day
Use synonyms
.At
night
Use synonyms
, a lower figure was shown, representing 48
million
Use synonyms
.Trains' effect was much smaller than
traffic
Use synonyms
, constituting 10mln and 8mln, during the
day
Use synonyms
 and
night
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.The figure of the
aircraft
Use synonyms
 made up 4mln at
day
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, at
night
Use synonyms
, there were 4 times fewer individuals compared with the
day
Use synonyms
. Impacts of
industry
Use synonyms
 mirrored the
aircraft
Use synonyms
's trend. During the
day
Use synonyms
, 1mln
people
Use synonyms
 were affected, and at
night
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 index was 0.25mln. Turning to the rural places' indications, the influence of actions of vehicles was 35
million
Use synonyms
 during sunny hours, at
night
Use synonyms
, 24
million
Use synonyms
 residents were affected, making up a leading figure among other factors.Trains accounted for 8
mln
Correct your spelling
million
 impacted dwellers during the
day
Use synonyms
, and at
night
Use synonyms
, it was 6
million
Use synonyms
.
Aircraft
Use synonyms
 impacted 2
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 during the
day
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, at
night
Use synonyms
, it made up 2 times lower.
Industry
Use synonyms
 did not have any negative influences on the locals in remote areas in 2007.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words traffic, aircraft, industry, people, day, night, million, mln with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: