IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them to learn this distinctiom To what extend do you agree or disagree about this What sort of punishment should parents and teacher be allowed teach good behavior to children

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
All parents
arond
Correct your spelling
around
 the world wants thire childern to be the best , but most of them do not know how to talk or teach
by
Change preposition
the
show examples
 right way . In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 , parents and child frinds has role in
hes
Correct your spelling
his
 life ,  all
them
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 effective on his carerr negative or positive impact ,
therefore
Linking Words
 we must be
comforetaple
Correct your spelling
confident
 if we talk with any child and
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not cross his line .
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 grow in diffrent level
such
Linking Words
 one of them need
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to deal with
such
Linking Words
 as , teenyeager need to be
thire frinds
Correct your spelling
their friends
 more than
thire
Correct your spelling
their
 parents or
teacher ,
Correct word order
teachers. Additionally,
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
level
Punctuation problem
level,
show examples
 they lesson to them frinds and andur stand them more than
any one
Punctuation problem
anyone. Therefore
show examples
,
Linking Words
therefore
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we should
teak
Correct your spelling
take
 care
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the school enviroment not just from
student
Check wording
students
show examples
 but from teacher becuse if they do not deal with
children
Use synonyms
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 mathodes it will damage and effect on child carerr
Moreover
Linking Words
 , most of childern learn from
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
, not
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 TV
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 watch his parent and
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 teachers
becuase
Correct your spelling
Because
 they are
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 role made and see all them behaivors are true ,
therefore
Linking Words
 we should teak cere from our
behaivor
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 before them , as reslt if you see
children
Use synonyms
practis
Correct your spelling
practising
 any wrong behaivor you must understand frome where
he
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 learn
this
Linking Words
behaivor
Correct your spelling
behaviour
. In conclusion , we should
teak
Correct your spelling
take
 care
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
Use synonyms
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 they are the
fucher
Correct your spelling
future
, and know all deed has deed ,
in
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
 before
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
children
Punctuation problem
children,
show examples
 we should teach
our self
Fix the agreement mistake
ourselves
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts of the task more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in a direct way.
task response
Write more about punishment because this is a main part of the question. Explain what kind is okay and what kind is not okay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear main ideas in each paragraph. One paragraph should have one main point.
task response
Add simple examples to support your ideas. This will make your answer stronger and easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some parts now are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, and this helps the essay feel complete.
task response
You give some clear ideas about parents, teachers, and friends having an effect on children.
coherence and cohesion
You try to organize the essay into paragraphs with different points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: