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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives information about the usage of Facebook and Twitter in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line chart illustrates the
Use synonyms
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
 of two different
Use synonyms
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 used in Australia :
Facebook
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 and Twitter.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Both
Fix the agreement mistake
both platforms
show examples
platform
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 started in 2012 with
Use synonyms
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
 relatively similar,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 they have witnessed
varions
Correct your spelling
various
 patterns over the years,
at the end
Linking Words
each
Punctuation problem
, each
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 one of these tools
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 covered
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 path toward 2016 with nearly the same
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utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
number
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. Regarding the usage for
Facebook
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, the company kicked off in 2012 with
total
Correct article usage
a total
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numerb
Correct your spelling
number
 of users
reached to
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 21.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the progress remained stable over the years with a slight increase in 2014, where the
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utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
 was approximately 30
useres
Correct your spelling
users
. Over the
last
Linking Words
 two years
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are 2015
,
Correct word choice
and
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2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
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 the company gained more new joiners and closed 2016 with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
number
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recored
Correct your spelling
recorded
 for
Facebook
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around
Punctuation problem
, around
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 32.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the two tools
have
Wrong verb form
apply
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started in the same year,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Twitter
colsed
Correct your spelling
closed
 2016 with
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number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of
user
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users
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 that surpassed
Facebook
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. Twitter has a
dramatical
Use the right word
dramatic
show examples
 decrease from 2013 - 2015.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
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platform
Correct article usage
the platform
show examples
 has a significant jump with
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
number
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 of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 35 in 2016
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
show examples
 a great enhancement for the
platform
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words utilization, platform, facebook, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • usage
  • information
  • popular
  • users
  • increase
  • growth
  • steady
  • period
  • compare
  • trend
  • dominant
  • platform
  • rise
  • noticeable
  • initial
  • years
  • show
  • data
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