Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, some
people
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believe that if they reduce their flying hours or completely stop using
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airplanes
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aeroplanes
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as a means of transport, it will positively affect the environment. Despite these environmental benefits, I believe that
air
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travel
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saves a significant amount of
time
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compared to other forms of
transportation
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,
such
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as buses, trains, and ferries.
Therefore
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,
this
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essay argues that the disadvantages of reducing
air
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travel
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outweigh the advantages. Environmental pollution has increased significantly compared to the past, and
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airplanes
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aeroplanes
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contribute greatly to
this
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problem because they consume large amounts of fuel compared to other
transportation
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methods.
Consequently
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, carbon dioxide is released into the atmosphere.
For instance
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, Japanese scientists who conducted research on
air
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travel
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have found that if
people
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reduce the number of flights they take and use alternatives for business meetings,
such
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as Zoom and Google Meet, environmental pollution can be reduced.
Therefore
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, reducing
air
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travel
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can have positive effects on the environment.
On the other hand
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, travelling by
airplane
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aeroplane
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, which is the most
time
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-efficient mode of transport, is widely used by many
people
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.
Moreover
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, global competition has increased rapidly as technology continues to develop, and
time
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has become one of the most important factors in modern life.
Therefore
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, if
people
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use
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airplanes
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aeroplanes
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for important purposes,
such
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as business meetings and educational activities, they can improve their efficiency and save valuable
time
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.
For example
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, my university friend, who investigated the benefits of
air
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travel
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compared with other
transportation
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methods, found that
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airplanes
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aeroplanes
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are extremely useful for essential tasks.
As a result
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,
people
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can complete their work more reliably and efficiently. In conclusion, many
people
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believe that reducing
air
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travel
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can help protect the environment,
while
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I believe that modern society requires fast and reliable
transportation
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because
people
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have more important responsibilities than in the past.
Although
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reducing
air
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travel
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has environmental benefits, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because
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airplanes
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aeroplanes
show examples
save
time
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and improve productivity.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear reason why less flying is bad for people or business, not only that it saves time.
task response
Use more real and direct examples. Your examples now sound general and not fully strong.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea and explain it a bit more.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Break them into shorter parts so the meaning is easier to follow.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a logical order and are easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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