Some people believe that government should spend more money on public transportation, while others think that building more roads is a better solution to practice traffic. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
century, machineries are superseding the manual efforts of
labors
Check wording
labourers
show examples
and employers in almost every category of
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
ubiquitous development may be considered as beneficial, yet it
also
Linking Words
renders demerits, which shall be discussed in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
following essay. To commence with merits, the most prominent one is money
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the time is immensely saved.
Machines
Use synonyms
are
one-time
Correct article usage
a one-time
show examples
investment
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
has to be paid daily along
numerous
Change preposition
with numerous
show examples
bonus
Fix the agreement mistake
bonuses
show examples
. Mechanical
work
Use synonyms
is rapid and always accurate, except
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
rare error cases.
Further
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,
this
Linking Words
allows individuals to accomplish other vital things in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life as people can follow their passion or desires because they have enough time and concentration for it.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
machines
Use synonyms
are a tool not only for individual success, but
also
Linking Words
for
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
welfare.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are numerous drawbacks of
this
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vocationally
Replace the word
vocational
trend
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
a major one is that
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
of unemployment is increasing disproportionately. To elaborate
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
aspect, employers are no longer recruiting many employees because
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
percentage of
work
Use synonyms
is done by either robots or
machines
Use synonyms
. Humans with
working
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
worthy degrees and experiences are still unemployed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
due to
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
pathetic
Correct article usage
a pathetic
show examples
condition, cases of psychological disorders
such
Linking Words
as anxiety, depression
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
are
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
surging.
For example
Linking Words
, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, robots have been used in restaurants
as well as
Linking Words
in factories for
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
two years.
This
Linking Words
has lowered the employment rate from 90% to 60% within years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
heritage
Correct article usage
the heritage
show examples
of handwork is vanishing as people are no longer working or allowed to
work
Use synonyms
because
machines
Use synonyms
are dominating.
This
Linking Words
is a negative development which is contributing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the hideous loss of generational knowledge.
To conclude
Linking Words
, mechanical
work
Use synonyms
is useful in many
terms
Check wording
ways
show examples
and can be termed as
beneficial
Correct article usage
a beneficial
show examples
trend, yet it has pessimistic effects on employment rates.
However
Linking Words
, the importance of manual craft is still
glorifying
Wrong verb form
glorified
show examples
to some extent.

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coherence cohesion
Write a clearer main idea in each body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like 'first', 'however', and 'as a result'.
task achievement
Explain your ideas more fully, not only state them.
task achievement
Give examples that feel more real and clear.
task achievement
Keep your opinion clear from start to end.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
task achievement
You discuss both good and bad sides of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are clear and easy to follow most of the time.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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