IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that government should spend more money on public transportation, while others think that building more roads is a better solution to practice traffic. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays,
traffic
Use synonyms
 on
roads
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 is rising at an alarming rate. Some
people
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 believe that public
transportation
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 should be enhanced to avoid
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems.
However
Linking Words
, others think that
roads
Use synonyms
 should be renovated to cope with
this
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 concern. I believe that both solutions are important to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
traffic
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, reinforcement of public
transportation
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 is one of the easiest and the prime way to control
traffic
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 on the
roads
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. Car pooling and public
transportation
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 will not only reduce the congestion of the vehicles, but will
also
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 conserve
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 from greenhouse gases.
Furthermore
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, less air pollution can lead towards fresh atmosphere and
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
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 society.
For example
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, in countries like Canada and America, public
transportation
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 enables local
people
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 to travel easily.
Also
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, clean buses and railway systems encourage
people
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 to use more
of the
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
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 rather than private
one
Correct pronoun usage
transportation
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.
Additionally
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,
roads
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 are
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
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 requirement for any kind of
transportation
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 to function.
This
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 is the mere reason for
regime
Correct article usage
the regime
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 to spend more on the renovation of
roads
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. Good quality of
roads
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 can manage
traffic
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 easily
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 there would be no hindrance for drivers.
Hence
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, road management is one of the prime factors for
traffic
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 control.
For instance
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,
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 of China spent approximately 30% of
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government's
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 funds on
renovation
Correct article usage
the renovation
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 of
roads
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 only.
This
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 has dramatically changed the
traffic
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 congestion rates of China.
To conclude
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, I believe that both
roads
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 and public
transportation
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 are responsibilities of the
government
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.
People
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 pay taxes for these services
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that is
Linking Words
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
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 why
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should equally spend on both of them to avoid problems like
traffic
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully, then make your own view very clear all through the essay.
task response
Use more clear and real support for each main idea. Some examples are too general or may not feel strong enough.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'in addition', 'however', and 'as a result' more carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice and grammar because some errors make ideas less easy to follow.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Main ideas are usually easy to find.
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