IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important . Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Angsa

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Some individuals think that training is more important than committing to a
diet
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in my opinion, both are equally important. On one hand, we have guys who
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that exercise is more significant, that`s because of how tired you feel during a training session,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 someone who goes to the gym 5 days per week
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 after the
gym
Add a comma
gym,
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 they go to KFC or any other restaurant,
this
Linking Words
 person will not go anywhere with their health. His health will be much worse than
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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it was before if he continues on
this
Linking Words
 way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have people who claim that a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is all you need to become healthy. They
also
Linking Words
 think that because of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 weight loss, without
exercising
Punctuation problem
exercising,
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 you will lose both muscle
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and fat, which means that you will become weaker.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 people who cleans thier food
from
Change preposition
of
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 fat and they lower the carbs they think
if
Correct word choice
that if
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 they
did
Wrong verb form
do
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that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 it`s healthier
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, they are going to lose
muscles
Check wording
muscle
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 if they
are
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 to the gym. In my opinion,
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and exercise are equally crucial, and if you`re working on one and leaving the
other
Punctuation problem
other,
show examples
 there is no point because they
complete
Verb problem
complement
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 each other
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I
also
Linking Words
 believe that
diet
Use synonyms
 will get you
half way
Correct your spelling
halfway
 there, and working out will get you
half way
Correct your spelling
halfway
 there
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 means together they will fit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they will get you the body
you
Verb problem
you've
show examples
 always
dreamt
Correct your spelling
dreamed
 about.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about why each side may help health.
task response
Give a clearer opinion in the intro and keep the same view in the whole essay.
task response
Use examples that match your point in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check pronouns and references so it is always clear who you mean.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic.
task response
You give your opinion in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words to move from one idea to the next.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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