IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show information about water consumption in Australia in 2004 and how residential water was consumed in the same year.

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The given pie chart provides information about the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 bar graph illustrates the use of
water
Use synonyms
 by local individuals in Australia in 2004. The data is measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest proportion was recorded by residential houses in
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 other branches showed the smallest figure.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the largest percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 use was in the bathroom.
Conversely
Linking Words
, kitchen usage was the lowest figure. Observing in detail, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 by residential houses showed 53%. The
Use synonyms
rate
Check wording
rates
show examples
 for residential apartments and government showed 18% and 14% , respectively.
Consumption
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 for business and industry made up a similar figure, accounting for 10%. The
smallest
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 is shown by other categories, making up 5%. Turning to the residential
water
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 usage in Australia, the bathroom and garden showed almost the same
rate
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, constituting 29%. Using
water
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 to toilet was lower than that, representing 15. The
rate
Use synonyms
 for washing clothes and the kitchen made up 20% and 10% relatively in 2004.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, water, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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