IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many works used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In the 21st century,
machines
Use synonyms
 are replacing manual
work loads
Correct your spelling
workloads
 throughout the world.
This
Linking Words
 ubiquitous development may be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
beneficial, yet it renders various demerits
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 shall be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
machines
Use synonyms
 save
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 and energy of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals. It allows people to finish their work rapidly
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 gives them some extra time for other important
works
Check wording
work
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, mechanical appliances not only make life easier but
also
Linking Words
 offer accurate and instant results. Computer laptops
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 automatic
machines
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 so
on
Punctuation problem
on,
show examples
 provide easier and
quick
Replace the word
quicker
 services.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some disadvantages of
machines
Use synonyms
on the
Change preposition
in
show examples
 daily living activities
as well as
Linking Words
human
Change preposition
for human
show examples
 beings. Unemployment is increasing at an alarming rate
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
machines
Use synonyms
 are the prime reason for
this
Linking Words
 negative impact. Without jobs, youngsters are suffering from loneliness, depression and anxiety disorders.
Also
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
assistance
Correct article usage
the assistance
show examples
 of electrical devices, people tend to live a sedentary lifestyle
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 either makes them physically unfit or
tends
Verb problem
leads
show examples
 to some mental problems.
For example
Linking Words
, in recent surveys of China
from
Change preposition
over the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 10 years, unemployment rates have
been
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
surged by 60%. Simultaneously,
psychological disorder proportion
Correct word order
the proportion of psychological disorders
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 raised by 70% throughout the same time period. Both are growing directly proportional to each other.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
 era is an advantageous trend, but to some extent, people should use
machines
Use synonyms
 wisely to avoid unhealthy outcomes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about good and bad points, but each side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Give clearer main ideas in each body part. One main idea, then explain it, then give one simple example.
task response
Your example is not fully clear and may not be true. Use a simple and believable example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. But some ideas move too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. For example: First, In addition, However, As a result, In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or hard to follow. Make them shorter and easier to read.
task response
You answered the topic and wrote about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay feels complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are clear, and each one has a main purpose.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: