The bar chart illustrates the proportion of both male and female people in six different age groups in Australia doing regular physical activity in 2010. The bar chart below show the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.

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The chart shows the percentage
the number
Check wording
apply
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of Australian citizens in different age groups
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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commit regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall
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, younger men tend to do more physical activites
then
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the older groups mentioned. Women
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
, on
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the other hand, their
proprtion
Correct your spelling
proportion
is
flectuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
and
its
Use the right word
it's
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shown that older females do more sports
the
Correct word choice
than
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the younger ones. It is shown that males commit more
physical
Change preposition
to physical
show examples
are
Verb problem
apply
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hard sports in their younger year 15 to 24
at
Punctuation problem
, at
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52%. After 25year their percentage had declined to 42% and continued to fall from ages 35 to 64%
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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45%.Men above 65 and over have the lowest rate of doing
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
at only 46%. Women
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
, on
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the other hand, are
oppoaite
Correct your spelling
opposed
to
mens
Check wording
men's
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score. Younger females
at
Correct word choice
aged
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15 to 24
activity
Verb problem
have an activity
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rate
is
Change preposition
of
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only 47% ,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
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their score rose after 25 years at 48% percent. Their rates rose steadily till 52% at ages 35 to 54. The score continued to climp reaching
it
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
peak point 53% for ages 45 to 64. The proportion fell to 46% for people above 65 year and over.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • age groups
  • regular physical activity
  • participation rates
  • significantly higher
  • notable exception
  • decline
  • social factors
  • cultural influences
  • public health implications
  • demographics
  • engagement in physical activities
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