IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals, as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
There is a growing trend where millitary enviromment it is
goverment
Use synonyms
 tasks, not common
people
Use synonyms
, as humans can't do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of deals.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that politicians should protect
nature
Use synonyms
, I partly agree with the idea that
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
governments
 have more opportunity than
individuals
Use synonyms
 and have
cash
Correct article usage
the cash
show examples
 to do it completely wonderful. The first reason why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 support
individuals
Use synonyms
 mean is that country
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 always give money
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
region manegers
Correct your spelling
regional managers
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Punctuation problem
Furthermore,
show examples
 grant tasks,
such
Linking Words
 as
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 new
complex
Check wording
complexes
show examples
,
repair
Wrong verb form
repairing
show examples
 traffic and
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
 some parks
because
Punctuation problem
, because
show examples
 prezident must do
everythink
Correct your spelling
everything
 to improve towns.
thats
Correct your spelling
That's
 why
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
one
Verb problem
is one
show examples
 of the
politicians task
Check wording
politicians' tasks
show examples
.
in additio
Correct your spelling
In addition
,
goverment
Use synonyms
 can build new modern parks and
urbanizations
Check wording
urbanisation
show examples
 services to
throught
Correct your spelling
clear
 out the trash in natural places. As an example
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of cities espesially in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
out
Verb problem
put
show examples
 the trash
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside because their recyling service's weak.
Consequently
Linking Words
, shield
nature
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important goals of
goverment
Use synonyms
, because they have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 and it's
region
Correct article usage
the region
show examples
leaders
Check wording
leaders'
show examples
 mission. The another reson why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think
induviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 should protect their habitat is that every
rubbish
Check wording
piece of rubbish
show examples
 or
crashed
Wrong verb form
fallen
show examples
 trees
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 citizens
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
goverment
Use synonyms
 can't allocate cash because they have other drawbacks which
also
Linking Words
 need
respond
Verb problem
to be addressed
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 stop
kill
Wrong verb form
killing
show examples
 their
ecosystem
Punctuation problem
ecosystem,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 fact will
stop
Rephrase
no longer
show examples
 need protection.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
througt
Correct your spelling
throw
 out the garbage in pacific urns
instead
Linking Words
 of
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 it in
outside
Correct article usage
the outside
show examples
 enviroment will stop demant millitary.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 should look at the ecosystem and
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 wait
goverment
Use synonyms
 support to allocate other spaces. In conclusion, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
goverment
Use synonyms
 must protect
nature
Use synonyms
 and
individuals
Use synonyms
 should protect enviroment for themselves
i
Punctuation problem
. I
show examples
 think
goverment
Use synonyms
 should shield ecosytem, because a
lot
Use synonyms
cash
Change preposition
of cash
show examples
 and opportunity to
compleated
Wrong verb form
complete
show examples
 it better than just
throught
Correct your spelling
throwing
 out the rubbish
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 special boxes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: Answer the question more clearly. Say early if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Task response: Your main ideas are on topic, but some are hard to understand. Use short and clear sentences to explain why the government and people both have a role.
task response
Task response: Add one clear example for each body paragraph. Make the example real and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a basic 4-part shape: intro, 2 body parts, and conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in each paragraph. Start the paragraph with a clear topic sentence, then add support.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some linking words are used, like 'furthermore', 'for instance', and 'therefore'. But some links are not natural. Use simple links like 'first', 'also', 'because', 'for example', and 'in conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Make the order of ideas smoother. Sometimes the essay moves too fast, so the reader cannot follow your point.
task response
You answered the main topic and gave your opinion.
task response
You included both sides: the role of politicians and the role of individuals.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs, which helps the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental protection
  • responsibility
  • politicians
  • individuals
  • large-scale
  • policies
  • regulations
  • impact
  • corporations
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • resources
  • expertise
  • collective efforts
  • difference
  • combination
  • crucial
  • effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: